Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
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Top comments
pineapplefiend 13
You hadn't drunk anything before then?
WCARlover 35
.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Comments (165)
transvestite69 4
Designated Drink not more like Designated Driver. Have fun with that.
HighGTurn 12
What is up with everyone puking lately?
amandajlucas2015 2
Sk u never drank.. Not once before ur twenty first birthday to figure this out ahead of time?
TheHeavyOne 15
I'm sorry you're such a loser & only now are having your first drink. Who waits until they're 21?
miss_la_rue 6
So she waited until she's 21. So what? That certainly doesn't make her a loser, but it makes you a douche for calling her that.
nefertitiqueen3 0
No need to drink. Definitely not fml worthy. Drinking is for the weak.
derkster 6
O thanks for the burr "barf" lelele
pagullarka 9
Good, now just make sure remember this and never to drink again
arcottrammathorn 1
This is why it's important to practice before you get to your 21st
OfficeNinja 5
You probably just over did it. Alcohol is a beast. Drink just a little too much and it's chunks city. Those super sweet, weak, foo-foo girly drinks will get you sick too - so be careful. Best to start with 1/2 a beer, wait a bit, try another 1/2 beer, and so on. Once you learn to ride the bike, remove the training wheels and go straight to the tequila shots.
Ammi 7
I feel ya. However, I would go to the doctor/allergist and find out if it's an alcohol intolerance or something else. I have a barley allergy, which means I can't drink beer, but other drinks are generally okay. I never consumed anything with barley in it until I first drank beer, so there was no way for me to make that connection without visiting the doctor. If you go to the allergist, have them do a test for the common ingredients in beer (e.g. hops, barley, wheat--the allergist should have a list) as well as any kind of alcohol test they may be able to do. That's what I did (save the alcohol part, as my reaction--the same as yours, by the way--only happened with beer) and the allergy was quickly discovered. Alcohol intolerance absolutely exists, but it isn't the only possibility. It would be a good thing to know in our society, where drinking is expected at many social events, including work-related ones.
saphfiire 13
I was about to suggest the same thing. I have a wheat allergy and I've been advised to not eat or drink anything distilled or made from wheat, barley or rye. Doctors weren't able to diagnose it until they realized that only 2 beers (light beers at that!) would make me so unbelievably ill the next day that I couldn't even keep down water. Since switching to gluten-free beers (usually distilled from rice or buckwheat) and light liquors, I haven't had a hangover or been sick since.