Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, after watching over my drunken mother all last night to make sure she didn't choke on her own vomit, I came to the conclusion that at the age of 53, she's more of a party animal than I ever will be. I'm a 22 year-old man. FML
Today, it’s my birthday. I woke up with a raging hangover and my house being completely trashed from the party I didn’t really want, and can barely even remember, since I got so drunk from the nerves of having to host it. FML
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, I turned 29. To celebrate, my office got me a cake that read "Happy 38th!!" The "theme" of the "party" was 'Not a day over 35!' I waited all day for someone to tell me it was all a prank, but nobody did. I spent my lunch hour crying in my car. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I intended to get home early. Instead, I got too drunk, threw up, fell asleep on the train, and had to pay a $120 for a taxi fare. Happy 30th birthday to me, I guess. FML
Today, as usual, my period cramps got go bad that I can't eat or drink without taking a pain killer, and end up puking and passing out if I take a pain killer before I eat. Here's to 30 smooth years yet to come. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, my 18th birthday, I woke up vomiting with a temperature of 104 degrees. After I settled back in bed with some water, my mom said, "This is how you're supposed to feel on your 21st birthday, not your 18th." FML
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Top comments
interesting33 37
I'm not sure you should be picking up blood... maybe talk to the doctor?
alligatorteef 0
you ABSOLUTELY should go to a doctor. maybe even the ER. you should never be vomiting up blood or retching so hard it makes you bleed, after drinking or not.
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Comments (12)
interesting33 37
I'm not sure you should be picking up blood... maybe talk to the doctor?
BurnInDemonFire 39
I'll take 'Shit I did to be popular, but it massively backfired' for $500, Alex.
RichardPencil 32
Which “29th” birthday is this for you?
BurnInDemonFire 39
How many 29th birthdays do you need to celebrate before one sip of rosé makes you start talking to your spleen? I'd say it was that many.
bluhbluhbluh 14
is it 29th or 92nd though?
alligatorteef 0
you ABSOLUTELY should go to a doctor. maybe even the ER. you should never be vomiting up blood or retching so hard it makes you bleed, after drinking or not.
hotchickennugget 9
Like some of the others are saying - DEFINITELY go to a doctor or even urgent care. Like, NOW. You should never be vomiting up blood, no matter how much you had to drink or how much you're puking. You may have torn vessels in your throat from the force of the vomiting. God forbid it's anything worse.
fde2blknimout 18
We need to have more awareness for water it seems. If only it came out of an in door faucet.
faifai_fml 21
You might have something called Sudden Onset Alcohol Intolerance. Sorry. At least you can still have cheese?
bonsai 11
Hope your feeling better.
Squidgegg 4
Err... you don't hit late twenties and suddenly spew blood because you had a few beers, OP. You should probably see a doctor.