Today, I got a huge bill through the post. It turns out that my elderly mother made the vet come out to my house to see the dog while I was out, because she was scared of the little growths she had found on his body. They were nipples. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML
Today, I called my mother to check up on her. Lately, she's been having some financial problems, so last week I sent her my last $100 to help her out until her next paycheck. She used the money to euthanize the family dog. FML
Today, I was taking out the trash and I came upon a bill from a veterinary hospital. It was for $50 and it was a bill to put my dog down. My Dad said my dog was missing and I put hundreds of signs around the city. FML
Today, I took my dog for a basic spay and dental cleaning procedure. When I picked her up from the vet, I was reading through the surgery papers before they sent me away. They'd pulled 29 abscessed teeth and didn’t feel the need to tell me. FML
Today, I'm going to visit my mother in hospital. She broke her hip and my father refused to take her to hospital for 6 days, insisting she would get better. My dog had cancer surgery, which will cost me a whole month's salary. I’m still recovering from 2 major surgeries myself, and my kids are being total dorks. FML
Today, my mother called me at work, freaking out about my dog, so I panicked. What was wrong? He had a hard-on and she'd never seen that happen before. FML
Today, I rushed my dog to the vet because he was foaming at the mouth. I returned home with a bill for $200 and a dog who apparently has a thing for marshmallows. FML
Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML
Today, my mom's super spoiled small demon dog attacked my 3 year-old daughter, mauling her leg. Out of instinct, I kicked it away, causing it to fly across the room yelping. I picked up my daughter and took her straight to the hospital, where she got stitches. Later that night, I was greeted with a vet bill. FML
Today, I found out my mom has been telling my entire family I need surgery on my "Labia" instead of my "Labrum". I went from needing shoulder surgery to needing vagina surgery with one group text. Thanks, mom. FML
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Top comments
Mirorbo 27
Darling, I really hope you had your mother handle the bill. No excuse for her to be spooked over simple body parts. She could have very well called you up and asked you about it too.
mariavan 0
um....I don't think she could have attained "Grandma" status without having had sex at least ONCE.....
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Comments (87)
89jessica 0
LOL that's funny
playero 0
We get Arab money $$$$
PaintTheStars 2
the real problem is that it's a boy dog.
Trickyklown 0
Boy dogs have nipples too. 0.O Maybe the dog got alil too freaky?
rosemary1990 0
lmfao :)
Ms_Jessie22 8
Haha if she's a woman wouldn't she know what nipples look like?
thatguy888 0
does anybody know how many nipples a dog has?
Nylecroc 0
Jess I'm sure any gender knows what nipples are
Ms_Jessie22 8
Haha exactly! She must be senile
ffmmllyaya 0
that's rude and stupid. but I guess it's ok if u have nipples that look like dog ones. I won't blame u
Nylecroc 0
I finally get it! she's a senile cat lady and doesn't know a thing about dogs! Fyl op but good choice >
YourEvilHero 12
dogs have nipples!? where?
Ms_Jessie22 8
36- Are you talking to me? Nipples are fleshy buds with breast tissue behind them on which baby animals nurse on. So besides dogs having hair, I see no difference between human nipples and dog ones.
Melgros 0
Ms_Jessie, stop acting like a know it all bitch. We all know that you're 14 and have no friends in school. That's what chat roulette is for. Get off FML.
atticuz 2
our nipples don't look like dog nipples, nyle n Jess.
monnanon 14
dog nipples look more like bits of elongated skin, they dont have the colour difference that ours do. They can look like spots or growths especially if its a short haired dog but you would have thought the fact that there was two uniform rows of bumps would have told the mother they weren't growths. Still I imagine the first thing the vet did over the phone was tell the mother that they were in fact nipples and not anything bad but elderly mother insisted otherwise.
llcooljoey 0
*facepalm*
Jonkbaby 23
43 that's hawt
Ms_Jessie22 8
59- Oh you caught me! I have zero friends and no life so I just come on FML with the intention of pissing people off. Good call. /sarcasm PS I'm 15! :P
Chrissy44 0
hahahahaha
cabral5467 0
ms Jessie, sit on my face plz
st0n333d 0
ayyyy yooooo Jess in situations like these... I just break out the hateraid! :D
simple41 0
first!
Trickyklown 0
Fail my friend you're second. Good try though. Op your mom really doesn't know what nipples are?
89jessica 0
Owned ;)
EchoesOfSilence 0
Awkward. I'm sorry OP.
blueandpurpleroc 4
how old is your grandma? has she ever experienced sex, and/or ever heard of or seen nipples? if she hadn't then I understand! :D and at 2: no your not! :DD
naynayyy 0
well I'm pretty sure she would have heard of or seen nipples considering she's a human being.
mariavan 0
um....I don't think she could have attained "Grandma" status without having had sex at least ONCE.....
Nena713 0
#6 your statement didn't make any sense.
mariavan 0
**Mom** status....but same point...
blueandpurpleroc 4
haha it's an inside joke. it wouldn't make sense to you guys anyways. (:
robertlovespi 3
73 the point of telling inside jokes on FML would be...?
squeak_awsum_kid 0
haha suck shit
Mirorbo 27
Darling, I really hope you had your mother handle the bill. No excuse for her to be spooked over simple body parts. She could have very well called you up and asked you about it too.
Veena 0
HAHA!that actually made me laugh!!too bad for you tho OP :(
FYLDeep 26
Your mother is so stupid. This seriously couldn't wait til you got back? You should make her pay it.
Mariax_fml 2
Aww ♥ :-)
Mr_Zachary 0
If she has any animals, call the vet over to her house while she's out and see if you can top the bill she got you for. It'll be a fun game.
BeeHappy_fml 0
lol!!! it'd serve her right!!!