Today, it's my twenty first birthday. My biggest birthday surprise was discovering that I'm alcohol intolerant, by vomiting my first beer all over my boyfriend's mother. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my 21st birthday. My parents' gift was a case of non-alcoholic beer, to "prepare" me for when I "turn 21." My parents can't even remember how old I am. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday. I had a simple party with my boyfriend, with just a cake and a bottle of red wine. My boyfriend managed to get so drunk that he danced naked for 10 minutes, then told me I'm hideously obese but that he loves me anyway. FML
Today, I woke up from celebrating my 29th birthday. I guess it's true that tolerance drops quickly as you age, because I stayed in and only drank a few beers with my husband and spent the entire day retching so hard I puked up blood. My partying days are definitely over. FML
Today, it's my 20th birthday! Happy birthday to me! My boyfriend threw a beer can through my back wind-shield after breaking up with me. FML
Today, it was my 21st birthday and I invited a handful of my best friends over. They all stood me up and I drank alone in my apartment. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, I threw a birthday party for my boyfriend. As a joke, my friend and I served him non-alcoholic beer to see how he'd react. After a while, he faked being drunk, using it as an excuse after I caught him making out with one of my so-called "friends". FML
Today, it's my 21st birthday. All my friends showed up at my house already drunk, so I had to be the designated driver. FML
Today, I turned 21 and had a huge party because I could finally drink legally. Got arrested for public intoxication. FML
Today, during my beloved's birthday party, I had so much to drink that I puked all over the room. FML
Today, it was my boyfriend's 21st birthday. Along with a pair of $80 shoes, I bought him a birthday cake, his favorite ice cream and a $15 balloon. I showed up to the party and he was very intoxicated. So intoxicated that he pops the balloon, drops the cake, and throws up all over his new shoes. FML
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Top comments
pineapplefiend 13
You hadn't drunk anything before then?
WCARlover 35
.....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
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Comments (165)
Rawrrrrx3 4
Aww, that takes all the fun out of being 21, no boos for you. On the bright side your friends can always count on you to be designated driver!
jman3113 4
How haven't you even tried one before you turn 21?
xxblmpknxx 10
I like how everyone is so surprised that there are actually people out there, that for whatever reason, choose not to drink until they're legally allowed. Is it such a hard concept to grasp that some people follow the rules (that were set for very specific reasons)?!
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
I guess it's too much to hope for that not everyone is a mindless drone bending to the will of their corporate and political masters. The rules were indeed set for a specific reason: to control people.
iwadasn 33
Do you honestly think everyone who doesn't break the law is a mindless drone? Wow, that's the most hilarious way I've ever heard anyone try to justify their illegal activities.
Squeaky_Tomato 14
@130 I agree that was hilarious. Given I broke the law by drinking before I was 21 but it wasn't to "stick it to the man" hahahahaha
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
Yeah, I never said that. What I DID say was that not everyone is brainwashed into being piss-pants afraid of the law, simply because 'it's the law!' Do you honestly obey every command? You said yourself you drank before you were 21. It wasn't to 'stick it to the man,' it was because 'the law' didn't frighten you. And it shouldn't. It's not a test of morality. Every place has its own laws for their own bullshit reasons. Their word however, is not absolute, unless you're conducting said 'illegal activity' in the open where the authorities can see. If you drank in public under the legal age, then you're an idiot. Otherwise, you're good. For shit's sake, don't be so ******* immature in your responses.
pdp_fml 21
Why don't you get tested by a Dr. to see if you really are alcohol intolerant. I'm pretty sure that you can be tested.
Ifrah 0
Sad, probably your mother-in-law hates you now :/
perdix 31
Your boyfriend's biggest birthday surprise is that he's going to have to spring for expensive, illegal drugs to have sex with you. Hopefully, you're not roofie-intolerant.
Raesin 21
That's ok OP. Alcohol tastes awful anyway.
Ins0mau 20
Alcoholic drinks vary so much. I can't believe someone could hate the taste of all alcohol.
False_Stupidity 42
Maybe it's not alcohol intolerance but beer intolerance.. Try other forms of alcohol. I know I can't stand beer but whiskey or rum is fine.
baygirl564 9
Happy birthday!!
greenmen 12
We all have done that! That's not because you are alcohol tolerant. You have to take it slow the first time not drink it all at once
justineis 1
You never drank before? Not even at a party??? Holy hell your a saint