Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
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Top comments
SAgirl 23
You're her sugar daddy, not her BF.
kman1759 7
if this was flipped and the boy was given the squirt gun and the girl was giving the limo everyones opinions would be completely different.
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Comments (164)
travis1980___ 0
I think that probably says a lot about your relationship. Could be you put more thought, effort, and money into it.
cloud720 5
Then the OP says his girlfriend is 14. And the prior Christmas he bought fake IDs for her and all of her friends.
notmyyear 0
Squirt her with your gun, knock her out with the toy car, choke her with the necklace. Then take her money and buy something you like!
pike1346 3
get her the same crap for her next bday
p33lzhear 6
maybe your girl is saying that you still act like a 14yr old boy and need to man up a bit. just a thought
zenti 2
Uh oh, another materialistic FML.
EvilDave 13
Time to find a new girlfriend. One that actually loves and respects you. But, first, surprise butt sex.
sourgirl101 29
Super soak her. Sounds like your gifts would be hard to beat. What did you want? because you maybe should have hinted around. She's not a mind reader. My husband is so hard to shop for because he pretty much has everything he wants already. A squirt gun is sounding like a good gift right about now.
vettle 6
maybe you're really childish?
skyeyez9 25
When it comes to gifts, and one usually goes all out while the other doesnt even put the effort to find something, That could mean she takes you for granted. Don't go all out next b day (if there is one). Even if she is short on cash, she could have cooked your favorite dinner or something.