Today, it's my 26th birthday. My girlfriend gave me a matchbox car, a glow necklace, and a squirt gun. For her birthday, I bought her a new dress, rented a limo, and took her around to bar hop with her friends. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Simp
Today, it was the girl of my dreams' birthday. She already knows I am totally in love with her. So for her birthday I decided to buy her a $60 dollar bottle of rum for her and her friends to have fun with. She picked it up from my house with her new boyfriend waiting in the car. FML
Today, it was my 16th birthday. My surprise was a new car, that is now in the side of the garage because my mom lost control while driving it around front. FML
How can I make this about me?
Today, it's my birthday. My wife took me to my favorite restaurant for dinner. She made me pay for my birthday dinner, along with hers. She also got me a gift card to HER favorite store. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me the present she'd bought for me. I said, joking, "I hope it's not a tie!" It was a tie. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday and my mom promised me she'd buy me a car. She came home with a toy lego car. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom." That's how he put it, anyway. FML
Best birthday ever!
Today, it was my birthday. My boyfriend had promised that the day would belong to me. But no, I had to drive 80km forth and back to pick him up from work, then he took pictures with his new camera lens, then he decided what to eat, demanded a massage, and then he just fell asleep. Happy birthday to me. FML
Today, it's my 17th birthday. I asked for a newer car because my car right now sucks. I got a book on photography. I don't own a camera. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My boyfriend took me to dinner and near the end, he pulled out a long, rectangular box. Thinking it was a necklace, I got very excited. It was a wand. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My girlfriend gave me a Paul Frank t-shirt. It says "I'm single." FML
Top comments
SAgirl 23
You're her sugar daddy, not her BF.
kman1759 7
if this was flipped and the boy was given the squirt gun and the girl was giving the limo everyones opinions would be completely different.
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Comments (164)
x5100 0
that's ok my the day before my birthday my gf posts on her best friend's fb wall: gf: it's ------'s birthday tomorrow... need to do something friend: awww you missing him? gf: no he's just depressed again day of bday: thank you for being there. i dont think i love you as much anymore but thanks anyways!! happy birthday
slugg12 0
aww your gf sucks!
x3herox3 0
At least she tried.
USF_Jared 0
Hey OP, **** you. For our one year my girlfriend got me a cross necklace and one of those elastic sticky hands. why did she get me that? Within the first month of our relationship I had mentioned that back when I was a kid they were the best. She remembered 11 months later and included that, and you know what? She's ****** amazing, and I'm gonna propose to her soon. So how about you stop being an ungrateful shit, and be happy with what she can afford. Btw, my SSgt was ecstatic when someone bought him a Nerf sniper rifle. he's 30. I'm pretty sure if an enlisted Marine is fine with a toy gun, you should be too.
emilyjgraham 34
you and your ssgt might appreciate that because it means something to you, if the toys have no sentimental value then they're worthless to him, so just because your ssgt is okay with a gun doesn't mean every ****** has to be, so you stop complaining because hip girlfriend is a dick. if she can't afford something tell him, don't use a toy machine for presents.
FMLEFFITBAD 0
I guess it's the thought that counts... don't be harsh, it's really hard to find decent presents for guys.
whiteboy84 0
dude you can do better...
chellabella856 0
dump her what a bitch,
MissAimeeAngel 15
Lol. are you dating a five year old or something?
emilyjgraham 34
I don't think he's ungrateful, her financial situation might not be good but a squirt gun? really? he's 26! if I couldn't afford a good present I'd at least tell him so he couldn't have this rant. what shit presents.
newmandotcom 6
You sound like a materialistic girl....