Today, it's been 5 years I've been working for a man that won't admit he has Tourette's. He sits at his desk, twitching his head and hissing like a snake. He's also randomly said things like 'nipples', 'Jessica Simpson', 'potato peeler', etc. I feel like it's become my job to warn new employees. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I have a new coworker. Whenever he types something, he smacks the keyboard like its his wife's ass. It stresses me out. FML
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML
Today, my boss at my new job described a client as "retarded". I corrected him with "mentally disabled". He smirked and replied "Whatever. Just explain things to her real slow. After all, she's 'mentally disabled'. And a woman." I need this job so bad that I'll have to just put up with this asshole. FML
Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML
Today, I worked up the courage to tell my supervisor that it makes me feel uncomfortable when my coworker teases me by saying a special needs client is in love with me at the residential facility I work at. Her response was, “Well, he is obsessed with you. He writes your name down hundreds of times and watches you out his window." FML
Today, at work, I wondered: What's worse than a psychotic, gaslighting supervisor with his classic "You are worthless!" and "I never said/did that!" and other variations? A combination of said character with an autistic employee who panics at every such situation to the brink of peeing themself. I hate being that employee. FML
Today, my boss shouted and screamed at me for my fuck ups that have humiliated the company and cost thousands to put right. It was only when he paused that I was able to tell him he had the wrong guy, he wanted my coworker down the hall. I’ve been here for four years and he still doesn’t know my name. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, I had to fire an employee due to his staggering incompetence. The moment I said the F-word, he started fake-coughing, then loudly humming, then went to his desk and pretended not to hear anything I was saying. It took 3 of us to drag him out of the building kicking and screaming. FML
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Top comments
perdix 31
That's funny, because I tell people I do have Tourette's even though I don't just so I can say "nipples" and "********" whenever I feel like it. Thanks for your story -- I think I'm going to add "Jessica Simpson" to my repertoire.
underpaid011 0
keep a bunch of random items at your desk. then when he blurts out "toothbrush" (or whatever) you can toss one on his desk. turn it into an office game! call it "guess what Bob wants". the winner is the person who brings in the most items randomly blurted out. the losers have to chip in for the winners bar tab after work on Friday.
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Comments (70)
underpaid011 0
keep a bunch of random items at your desk. then when he blurts out "toothbrush" (or whatever) you can toss one on his desk. turn it into an office game! call it "guess what Bob wants". the winner is the person who brings in the most items randomly blurted out. the losers have to chip in for the winners bar tab after work on Friday.
Lala7261 0
if he doesn't wanna admit it... just leave him alone. its not your responsibility.
justsomgirl 4
exactly what I was thinking.
lolyourlifesucks 5
at least work will never be boring!
notquite69 0
That's awesome. He's not hurting anyone.
eddieyes 0
awesome my ass， hate when grown man does that
nerdsgetmehot 23
The twitching his head to the side and hissing like a snake part reminds me of Voldemort. Are you a Death Eater?
onedaylikethis 5
i want your job....
onedaylikethis 5
I lied, I NEED your job.
sublime420 11
Would someone come over here and.. ****! ..me up the.. ASS!
TraceCase_ 19
Why does he have to admit it? It's really not your business to warn anyone. You probably shouldn't stress over it so much, it sounds rather humorous and entertaining. Go with the flow yo!
Iknoweverything 29
I agree with the first part. Obviously, HE doesn't think he has a problem, why is it OP's job to tell new employees? As long as he's not randomly smacking people across the face, he's harmless!
freight48 0
this fml sucks
nerdsgetmehot 23
You suck. :)
pifpafpuf 0
yeap, it does
liuken 3
If he chooses not to disclose his condition, if he in-fact, does have it perhaps you shouldn't "warn the new employees" as it is his right to tell people or not. Side note you don't come off very well in this.