Today, I found out a guy I work with has an eye twitch. I thought he was just a winker. I have been winking back all week. He either thinks I'm an asshole or am trying to seduce him. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I sat across from a cute boy in my English class. I thought it was cute when he winked at me, so I laughed and winked back. I didn't understand why he shot me a dirty look, until I later found out he has eyelid spasms. FML
Creep alert
Today, I had been working at the checkout for over five hours. Slightly tired while serving a customer, my eye accidentally twitched and I gave him a wink. He smiled and winked back. When I finished work two hours later he was outside, waiting for me, and followed me to my car, still smiling. FML
Today, I went on a date with a guy and he kept winking at me. I thought it was really sweet until later that night he told me he had Tourette's. FML
My Love Life in a Nutshell
Today, I was at a concert and I thought the cute drummer was winking at me, so I winked back. Then I realized he was blinking sweat out his eyes. FML
Stalker vibes
Today, I was walking around Walmart when this cute guy walked by me and winked. I thought he wanted to talk, so I followed him around the store, trying to catch up. Turns out it wasn't a wink, he had something in his eye. He told the security person that a weird girl was stalking him. FML
I just want to go home
Today, at work, I handed an old man his drink, and our fingers accidentally brushed. He gave me a creepy wink and a smile, but I ignored it. He's now been sitting in the store for two hours watching me. Only four hours to go until I get off. FML
Today, a cute guy who works at the mall winked at me. When I met up with my boyfriend, I bragged to him about it. His response was, "Don't flatter yourself, he winked at me too." FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Mad about you
Today, I tried to act extra confident by making intense eye contact during a meeting. My boss finally stopped talking and asked, “Do you need something, or are you just glaring at me?” Now everyone thinks I have a crush on him. FML
Today, while at work, a creepy guy blatantly stared at my chest for a good 40 seconds. Finally snapping out of his trance, he said with a wink, "You forgot your name tag." He was right. FML
Top comments
mfmylifesrsly 30
ummm YDI, if you didnt want him, then dont wink back. idiot.
RedPillSucks 33
so which is it? are you an asshole trying to seduce him, or are you trying to seduce his asshole?
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Comments (43)
xspaniardx 3
Haha Nice. That sucks OP!
IVANTTOCOME 0
Or Swallows?
5t3ff1k4h 45
8 - No. That doesn't work in this case.
mamamiaaa_fml 12
tell him you were trying to eye **** him.
brenkite 5
I read a book by a guy who has a similar condition when he is lacking sleep... and terminal cancer
Haydenrw93 0
hahahaha thats just a lil funny :P. im sure he realises the misunderstanding..... either that or he doesnt acctually have an eye twitch. :O
Lounia_fml 8
I'm sure he understands.
Flammin8 0
Im sure this is all imagination
sheagstaz 0
I am sure he wants it
IVANTTOCOME 0
You bitch, you owe him a hand-job.
RustyElmer 0
ahaha! i totally agree!
DjeePee 25
All week winking? Oh boy.
lwolfy 0
ay wer yu frm sexy
chiddy_bang71 0
38- what? ur obviously still high from the blunt ur smoking in ur picture.
mfmylifesrsly 30
ummm YDI, if you didnt want him, then dont wink back. idiot.
sweet_candy_ 17
well what was your intention?
DocBastard 40
He also has an uncontrollable hand twitch, so when he pinches your ass or grabs your boob, remember it's involuntary.
qwertyuiop44 0
haha for a six year old, you have a vivid imagination docbastard. and an awesome vocabulary.
RedPillSucks 33
so which is it? are you an asshole trying to seduce him, or are you trying to seduce his asshole?
iliketurdles 7
WIN
theeNSP 0
Lol good one
sourgirl101 29
Or.... He might think you have a twitching condition too. Just keep on winking.
stronghand0331 17
Exactly! So when he does try to seduce him, they'll have something in common.