Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML
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Top comments
random2212 16
Wow that's terrible. Hopefully you can explain.
Klima_fml 29
A warm welcome, doesn't get too much better than that ;)
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Comments (118)
wondercat40 28
At least you're not actually racist!
Xion0014 20
Everyones a little racist
littleking94 14
#38, speak for yourself
kickyourtitsin 12
There's simple stereotypes that people associate with others, kind of like judging a person, we're not proud of it but everyone does it.
ItsDutch 16
I'm not racist, I hate everybody equally!
QuaDECH 13
I'm not racist because racism is a crime, and crime is for black people.
disbatch 14
To much drama, your mom's a mugger, who cares, people do for the wrong reason, everyone is equal butt fairy
Klima_fml 29
A warm welcome, doesn't get too much better than that ;)
Devtyro 14
Throw a block party with all welcome?
dontlookman 20
With the sign on op's door, the only people to show up would be wearing bedsheets and pointy hats
JustinJK 21
Or an angry lynch mob. @OP maybe you should explain yourself?
random2212 16
Wow that's terrible. Hopefully you can explain.
5secondsofvvifi 21
Hopefully. But let's hope a hate crime isn't committed in that neighborhood because we all know who they'll be looking at...
freya1998 23
Time to meet your new neighbors, I guess.. Better bring some damn good cookies or something
LVtaytay 12
That's terrible, hope everyone believes you when you explain what happened.
disbatch 14
I don't even believe OP
Pizzapiggy1 18
Well just tell everyone that you are not actually racist and explain that some dickwad taped a paper to your door. Problem hopefully solved
RedPillSucks 33
telling people you're not racist doesn't usually work. just explain that some jerk put a mean and tasteless sign on your door.
Steve97 32
Welcome to the neighborhood! :D
echarlotte 19
Find out who it is and do the same thing to them
cadillacgal79 32
I wouldn't fight fire with fire here, maybe fire with a nice bottle of wine and a cookout?
disbatch 14
Revenge? real mature, wrong+wrong=wrong
LastResort318 14
79, - x - = +
annie_zoo 27
He said - + - = - Addition and multiplication are very different things.
kandyapple007 2
Bake something and go door to door and explain that you didn't put that sign there and you wanted to apologize to whoever it offended on behalf of whoever pulled that "prank"
disbatch 14
yeah back pot brownies, tell them they are just brownies, they will forget all about it