Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got a notification that a package had been delivered. I opened my door and saw it on at doorstep. I was expecting one, so I grabbed and opened it, then realized it wasn’t mine, but my neighbor’s. I had to awkwardly re-tape it, then sneak over and leave the disturbing contents of the box on their porch before they noticed. FML
Today, my new mailbox key finally arrived. Not at the front door as I requested, but in the mailbox. FML
Today, I found a love letter in my mail. It was from a girl I met at a bar few weeks ago. I never gave her my address or last name. I guess I have a stalker now. FML
Today, the mailman delivered my new phone to my neighbour's house. This was okay, because he left a note in my mailbox informing me so. Now my crazy neighbour won't give me the package because, "*I* signed for it!" FML
Today, my college roomate and I received our first pieces of mail. We were very excited because our mailbox wasn't empty anymore. She got a package of home baked cookies in the mail from her family. I got a letter from a stranger in prison. FML
Today, I got a notice on my apartment door that I'd received a package when no one was home, and it was left at the backdoor. I don't have a backdoor. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
Today, I was accepted to the college of my dreams. Then I checked the address. Turns out, the letter was meant for my neighbor. I was actually denied. FML
Today, I received a package labeled “Confidential.” Excited, I opened it in front of my coworkers, thinking it was a PR gift. It was the new toilet seat I'd mistakenly sent to my work address instead of my house. FML
Today, I emailed my crush an anonymous love letter. It wasn't until twenty minutes later that I realized that the email address I used contained my full name. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
Jeez, now there's a blast from the past. This is how people from the days of yore were courted, OP. My grandmother framed the dick pic my grandfather first sent. The picture is very well hung.
Welshite 40
Put a penis pump and some pamphlets for viagra in your mailbox. Wait for him to come back. Destroy his ego.
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Comments (60)
JohnnyKade 25
Damn. What a ballsy move eh?
cocacola999 27
Depends on how exactly the photo was taken - if it was a ballsy move or if he's just a dick.
Chlo1996 15
You punny sod
zaidthunder1 27
Hahaa.
bigbrown24 17
it's safe to say you may have a stalker.
pokemonareugly 12
Or it might be for someone that used to live there
Earl_KarmasBitch 36
It had OP's name on it, so unless by a stunning coincidence she has the same name as the previous resident, it was meant for her.
Welshite 40
Put a penis pump and some pamphlets for viagra in your mailbox. Wait for him to come back. Destroy his ego.
NNOTCHO 23
Or creep out the male man/lady
pjsr 33
I wonder how the postman would take that message
flying_chicken13 9
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Like this comment for 500000 years of good luck!!
crudeandrudeguy 29
Thanks but I really don't intend to live that long...
Tripartita 45
Jeez, now there's a blast from the past. This is how people from the days of yore were courted, OP. My grandmother framed the dick pic my grandfather first sent. The picture is very well hung.
zedjaleaf1 11
Ahhhhhh *ba dum tss*
soulreaper12296 28
I love your comments so much.
S_Gnu 17
This comment just won fmylife. Show's over folks; nothing better can be done.
delichick 27
This comment made my day! You, my dear, are my absolutely favourite person
TheStriker316 3
You waited your whole life to make that joke, didn't you? Lol
Tripartita 45
Not my WHOLE life, just since I started dropping beautifully addressed dick pics in people's mailboxes.
wygant23 8
Do you get top comment on every post?
Beeboopbeep 9
There is no top comment. It's organized by time.
BrianCMullin 3
At least he was mature enough to go through the process of printing it out. Seems like perfect boyfriend material if he cares that much about you.
Elban 20
If he cared that much he would've put it in a frame.?
mezochan 29
Pfft, if he liked it then he shoulda put a frame on it.
Oh_No_Not_Him 25
You might want to buy a sturdy bolt for the door!
blupenguin29 14
Old school
SarcasticRoach 12
That's the Welcome Weiner!
TyroneLeBron 24
Underrated comment is underrated
SlimFILS 4
Do you recognize it??