Today, it's been 3 days since I moved into my new house. I'm already known as the neighborhood racist, after some dicksplash thought it'd be funny to tape a sign to my door overnight that said: "DO NOT RING IF YOU ARE A NEGRO AND/OR JEW." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I'm a gay, black man who moved to a racist, mainly white, homophobic town for work. I've already had the cops called on me twice, and a group of teens yelled the f-slur at me unprompted. When I asked my boss if I could swap, he threatened to fire me. This is gonna be a long 6 months. FML
Today, I found a "White Power" bumper sticker on the back of my car. I don't know what idiot thought it'd be funny to put it there, but now my neighbors think I'm a proud racist. FML
Today, I moved into my new apartment. I was feeling really excited until my new neighbor knocked on my door and left me what looks like rabbit ears on my welcome mat. He just stared at me expectantly as though I should be thankful. FML
Today, I got home from work to find my house covered in graffiti dicks, the windows smashed, the front lawn entirely ripped up, and my letter box containing dog shit. I also found a note taped to the door saying, "Suck on this Darren". Darren is my next door neighbor. FML
Today, some new people moved into the house next door to mine. The previous occupants were very loud and obnoxious day in and day out, so I was looking forward to some sanity. When I went outside, I noticed they'd parked their cars on my lawn. FML
Today, I received an envelope with my name written in beautiful writing in my mailbox. I just moved in the day before and hadn't given the address to anyone or met my neighbors yet so I was a bit surprised by it, even more surprised to find nothing but a dick pic inside. FML
Today, I found out why people in my new neighborhood keep giving me weird looks. For a laugh, my brother had gone around telling them I'm a parolee, and implying that I couldn't be trusted around their children. FML
Today, I became the town racist for saying "black" instead of "African-American". I'm black. FML
Today, my pissed off girlfriend used window marker to write racist comments on my car window. This included Nazi symbols, "white power", and a few others I won't mention. I live in a predominantly black neighborhood. FML
Today, I moved into my new house. I went over to my neighbors' house to introduce myself. As they opened the door I saw a telescope pointed at my house. FML
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Top comments
random2212 16
Wow that's terrible. Hopefully you can explain.
Klima_fml 29
A warm welcome, doesn't get too much better than that ;)
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Comments (118)
K_kanaka 26
Welcome to the neighborhood!
Benmantha 31
..what the hell is going on in Florida?
nitrog100 21
So Sammy Davis Junior isn't welcome?
lilycups 11
In what way did you think this was going to be a good idea?
Shade1982 21
I'm not sure you read that right. Op didn't do that, someone else did.
rocker_chick23 27
What are you talking about? OP wasn't the one who put the note up.
AbtractAngela 17
Tape another sign to your door saying the same thing you just posted on this fml.
raysmith121 10
It's 2015 and this world is diverse stop being a racist.
MlleMC_fml 19
How about a sign that reads, "Everyone is welcome, except the (racist) person who posted the previous sign"?
Omniprism 15
Hold a bbq.
KrDizzy 16
I didn't know Jewish was a race. I have people in my family who are of Jewish religion, but they're white. Maybe I'm just assuming you're white and you're not.
jamongrande 14
Nice try Mel Gibson!