Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my dog woke me up with the sound of vomiting. I immediately got up and tried to figure out what he was doing. After 30 minutes, he didn’t vomit, just kept making the sounds. I banished him from my presence for some more shuteye. FML
Today, my dog had REALLY bad diarrhea. I found that out when I woke up to find it all over my bed. FML
Today, I was woken up by my dog scratching at my door. After a while of this, I finally got up to let her in. When I opened the door, she looked at me, threw up, and scurried away. FML
Today, I was woken up by a funky smell. My dog had eaten a dead bird and thrown up all over my bed and floor. At 4 o'clock in the morning I had to clean up regurgitated bits of bird, feathers, blood and dog food. The smell still hasn't gone away. FML
Today, I noticed that my dog was feeling sad. I let him hop on my bed with me to make him feel better. It worked, right after he vomited all over my face and pillow. FML
Today, my dog threw up on my bed while I was sleeping. I lost an hour of the day washing the vomit out with a rag, and my garbage disposal jammed on whatever otherworldly things my dog ate the day before. I had to dig it out by hand. FML
Today, I woke up approximately half a nanosecond after my dog involuntarily vomited in bed. On my face. I opened my mouth because it literally filled my nose. I swallowed out of reflex before I was fully awake. FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, as I was trying to fall asleep, I was jolted awake by my oldest cat who'd decided it would be perfect to power-puke all over my bed. FML
Today, I woke up at 5 a.m. to my dog jumping off of my bed. No big deal. I rolled over to the other side of the bed to fall back asleep and my face landed right in a puddle of his pee. I tasted it. FML
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Top comments
yankfan89 27
Be glad the dog wasn't puking on your face
raney150 0
Not to self: stop reading fmls while eating.
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Comments (104)
jillybean555 5
Beautiful.
Birdie_Sage 0
Chirpidy Chirp Chirp!!!! You filthy humans even make animals puke on you! CHIRP CHIRP! I feel sorry for the dog...
THE_A_TEEN 28
Someone is Coo-Koo in the head.
onlychildFTW 34
This is one of the reasons I don't want a dog. You never know when they might get sick with something.
DanielleinDC 34
And I thought my cat whimpering for her breakfast or trying to drag the automatic feeder across the floor was bad.
blondeyhey 0
That's happened to me many times , I feel for ya
zebralover23 14
Is it your Birthday cause they left a gift for you
Dnigz13 4
Well did you get up ad clean it, or just go right back to sleep?
UsernameHere234 13
God knows I've just fallen back asleep sometimes if I have a busy day ahead of me. But I now have a cover he lies on so I can just toss it in the washer rather than stripping the whole bed.
KunoKanashimi 3
FMLception, or does that kind of thing happen often?
MigraineurOfLife 15
Hey he was just sharing his breakfast with you... Be more appreciative.
ryanbeast 7
Once I woke up to my dog having diarrhea on the carpet in my room.