Today, in a fit of paranoid hysteria, my mom threw out my phone, claiming the NSA can look through the camera to spy on me. I guess that's why you're still using your own phone to sext your latest boyfriend, eh mom? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I found out that my mom has linked my iPhone with her iPad and has been secretly reading my texts. FML
Today, my paranoid wreck of a girlfriend read a text message on my phone from a woman asking if I was coming over for dinner. The woman was my mom. My girlfriend stormed out and hasn't answered my calls all day. FML
Today, my mom called me in a panic because someone had hacked my phone and was sending her evil faces. They were emojis I'd accidentally butt-dialed. FML
Today, my dad let me use his phone. Five minutes later, he had my mom call it because he thought he'd lost it. FML
Today, I discovered a tracking app enabled on my phone so I switched it off to save battery space. Within 20 minutes my mother rang and demanded to know where I was, what I was doing, if I was with some woman… you get the picture. I'm 32 and own my own apartment. FML
Today, I was taking a selfie. My grandma saw me, then after smirking to herself, she went and told my parents that I was "doing that sexting thing". They believed her and grounded me, even after I showed that all my photos and sent messages were totally innocent. FML
Today, my girlfriend went through my phone and when she found nothing she accused me of having a secret second phone, and is tearing apart the house and both cars looking for a secret phone. I’ve been making calls so the cops and a locksmith are on their way, I need this bitch out of my life. FML
Today, my "friend" thought it'd be absolutely hilarious to use my phone to text my girlfriend, bragging that I'd found a new "slampiece" and that she's "fukcin dumpd". Now I'm single, her dad keeps making threatening calls to me, and nobody will even listen to my side of the story. FML
Today, I found out my stalker is my mom's new boyfriend. FML
Today, my parents searched my younger sister's phone because she had been acting suspiciously. I asked my mom if she was going to search mine too. She laughed and said, "Sweetie, your phone is probably even duller than mine!" FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Pleonasm 36
It's because she knows the NSA would not want to look at the nasty shit.
LookAttMyyLifee 12
You got her , burnnnnnn.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (64)
LookAttMyyLifee 12
You got her , burnnnnnn.
Catkam623 27
Sassyy lady op is...
\ 28
I don't get why people ask "would you like some ice for that burn" when you must, in fact, use cold water. Just wondering...
LookAttMyyLifee 12
Why so technical ? The fact of the matter is that they got burned . No ones going to say " need some cold water for that burn ? " Just sounds idiotic.
asnakelovinbabe 16
Personally I like to put hot sauce on my burns.
perdix 31
While the OP is up 1-0 in the Burn War with her mom, Mom leads in the phone category, 1-zip. I'd rather be in the mom's shoes, which are probably slutty high heels.
LookAttMyyLifee 12
I like tobasco
green2go 14
Who else thinks that OP's mom is on drugs
Pleonasm 36
It's because she knows the NSA would not want to look at the nasty shit.
Zimmington 21
Correction- ALL they want is the nasty shit
Chellybelly92 14
I wish people would understand the government does not care at all what the normal citizen is doing.
Shrike 24
Exactly, but those average, normal nobodies are desperate to believe that they're important in life, and that they're worthy of being spied on.
Faff 20
well that's a little naive. I'm not saying that being paranoid is a good thing, but governments do monitor everyone and the littlest things could make you a suspect in their eyes.
Chellybelly92 14
Yea if you're googling how to buy military grade uranium that might set off the alarms. But the many people googling Justin Beiber, and instagraming their food, no ones gonna bat an eyelash over that.
Ranimal 12
People have to understand that this spying, intercepted communication, personal date collection stuff has been going on for a lot longer than people realize. This is far from a new thing.
CobraLazerFace 21
Let me get my tinfoil hat.
SpamPam 18
Yet how many people will be complaining when the gov't uses that surveillance to arrest people who downloaded music illegally? Or maybe harass some one who has strong political opinion? (Which by the way is something they use to define a "terrorist") Take the IRS scandal and add it to the NSA and you could be targeted just for expressing disagreement with your government.
RedPillSucks 33
And when your ass gets blown up you yell at the gov cause they didn't do enough surveillance
SpamPam 18
No I wouldn't yell at the gov't. Because whenever people cry out to the gov't they respond by taking away the rights of the people.
SpamPam 18
I don't understand how as a nation we can go from protesting the Patriot Act to embracing it. What changed? I don't need the gov't to feel safe. I'm not going to live my life as a hermit because I am afraid. Only when you stop fearing death do you really begin to live.
Faff 20
@17 I consider my father a regular civilian, but a few months ago the police was at his door for questioning, because he had been googling information about Syria and posted anti-American pictures on his Facebook.
hersheyfan98 6
I have a family member in the military saying that they are trying to make this possible. Spying through cameras. No joke!
isallwaysme 27
my friends gay brother posted on instagram that he's gonna blow up the whitehouse. about a week later, when i was at the house, FBI agents came to the house. we live in Canada where there IS no FBI, so they had to fly out hahahah. he was questioned for a few hours, things like, do you have anything against Americans? and could you get your hands on bombs? and shit like that
anythingmustbe 18
Your mum tells you this and you come and post it on FML? Where they can monitor your comments and track your IP? Now that your mum knows another means of how they can spy on you, you will be in their cross-hairs. Your mother obviously has her phone to lull them into a false sense of security. Which you have ruined by posting this on FML. I SAID TO MUCH.
lennelleong 33
If you have to make an error, don't make it glaring! That's why I couldn't let it pass!
tj4234 36
you know you can't actually track an IP? IP only gives a general area. For example I live in Aberdeen, but if you trace my IP it gives Glasgow because that is where the main broadcaster is for BT in Scotland. Only service providers can trace IPs to the exact address and to get that information, the Government has to ask very nicely. Although in saying that... I don't live in the US so I don't know the full powers of the NSA. Maybe they don't need to ask. But it's funny if they do because all other Government agencies do...
Ranimal 12
They can most definitely track your IP and pinpoint you. The power that they have is pretty mind blowing, and that's not counting what the public does not know.
Alicestraza 33
Just post those sexts to the internet and claim it was the NSA. Sounds like she is dumb enough to believe it.
KVKdragon 26
I swear some people need mental readjusting in terms of morals, common sense, and compassion (nothing else). FML is full of great examples -_-
imtooshy 18
I'm surprised you're able to write and post this considering your mom more than likely raised you. Be happy you don't take after her :-)
perdix 31
#10, also, the NSA now knows to go spy on the mom's phone if they want to see dirty, titillating stuff.
chanellgymnast 17
"Whorible mom" indeed.
LissaMccracken 23
Throw hers out as well.
perdix 31
Looks like Mom didn't teach you what a smartphone is for, or should I say, a sexyphone. rawr ;)