Today, our new boss showed up for his first day of work. I thought I'd seen it all, but he demands that we say "Hail to the King" every time he passes through the office. When I called HR about it, the guy on the other end told me to "man up and deal with it". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new coworker told me he expects me to call him King Kong and bow down to him whenever he walks past. FML
Today, my new boss sat me down and told me he's seriously reconsidering my hire, all because I greeted him with, "Howdy, boss!" instead of, "Good morning, sir." Apparently this indicates a lack of respect for his authority. FML
Today, I showed up to my new job early, hoping to impress my new boss. When he arrived, he walked by me and muttered, "Fucking tryhard." FML
Today, my new boss, the CEO's son, finally showed up for work, three days late and right after lunch break. His first order of business was to call a meeting and scream at everyone for not having a diet latte waiting for him on his desk. God help us all. FML
Today, I met the new boss, who kicked the door open looking 15 years-old, with sunglasses on hiding his hangover, threw his bag on the desk knocking everything over, and greeted me with, “What the hell you doing in my office, bro?” This is going to be a complete disaster, I can feel it. FML
Today, we got a new manager in his 20’s who has never worked our industry before. His introductory speech included, “and you will respect me as your superior.” Our veterans have pranked him three times already and he blames me because mine is the only name he seems able to remember. FML
Today, I called my new boss by my old boss's name during a meeting. My new boss said nothing, but just glared at me in silence. Somehow, I think he wasn't impressed. FML
Today, my new boss lost his shit and flew into a ten minute rant against me about the "value of respect". He told me that if I wanted to stay in "his" company, I'd best start toeing the line. All this because I corrected his misuse of "your" and "you're" in one of his memos. FML
Today, at my new job, I walked into the office to hear my supervisor and HR manager talking about how, "the new guy isn't very smart, but we can get him to do the shit work for a couple weeks." Gee, thanks. FML
Today, a thirty-something guy swaggered into my workplace. He was wearing shutter shades and torn jeans, and claimed to be our new boss. I called security to throw him out, at which point he produced his ID and let me know I'd be attending an employee review session next week. FML
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Top comments
desireev 18
**** that!!! I'd tell him to shove it!! FYL
StoryOfTheYear 15
I suggest a rebellion.
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Comments (182)
willpierce 0
Frst
desireev 18
**** that!!! I'd tell him to shove it!! FYL
cyrusyoman 5
amazing idea :)
officeradvil 8
His boss might be Elvis. If so, then man up.
Ionodemon1995 0
But it might be Michael Jackson, so if then, suck his dick whilst acting like an 8 year old.
thor89 0
Is your boss Michael Scott?
enonymous 9
Duke Nukem got an office job?!?
MuziKMajoR 5
Tell him or her "hail to my balls mother *****"
n_epic_fail 14
**** his wife/girlfriend, see who's king then...
bitchslapped22 14
Wheres #1?
RawrScreamedTheC 6
My teacher wanted his class to call him "greatness".
Muslimgal92 0
Where is number #1? What sorcery is this :O
cosmosis 12
Acts of treason may be the answer! Down with the king and off with his head!!!
urdirtyolduncle 15
Tell him you'll hail the king when his wife "salutes your captin" ;)
truthurt47 0
Unless it's Chuck Norris
BPFE 1
what kind of ******* comment is that??
desireev 18
What comment??? What kind of comment is what?
urdirtyolduncle 15
Yes! Tell us! The suspense is killing me!!
Rawroar 3
**** his wife and yell "Hail to the king" as you cum.
TitaniaSilk 4
So do what he suggested! Just suck it up!
THE_A_TEEN 28
...and suffer with a possibly narcissist boss who demands everyone to praise him. Nice job...
TitaniaSilk 4
I mean, suck it up and do as he requested. Of course, no said you had to say it sincerely. (For the record, this was posted before I saw #10)
twifan1901 0
Sincere or not "hailing the king" is crazy
docscientist 10
Yeah, op, be a tool!
builditbetter09 3
Or while everyone is yelling "hail to the king" blurt out "**** YOU!!!" then look at the person next to you like wtf?
TitaniaSilk 4
#12- By [un]sincerely I meant sarcastic. I was just trying to not be as rudely blunt as some people on here are. :)
TitaniaSilk 4
Hey look! My comment got down voted so many times that it was hidden! That's a first! :D
StoryOfTheYear 15
I suggest a rebellion.
nixter5 18
What would make it even better is if the boss played Darth Vader music as he walks off.
MuziKMajoR 5
Death to all who oppose me says the boss
McMan 23
I prefer regicide myself.
DFlit1 0
**** rebellions those take time and planning no I say mutiny and appoint ur own new boss
ikickgingers 15
Hail to the king baby!!!!!!!! Army Of Darkness **** yes!!!!!
Palirose 22
That's some bull crap. He cant fire you if you don't though.
evilplatypus 39
He can make your life hell though. There are so many little things a boss can do to mess with you; it's like an art almost.
sheethapins 13
Actually if it's an at will state he can but not disclose the reason. So... Man up.
lysx84 24
Apologies for ignorance here, what is an "at will state"? OP is in the UK, can I go right ahead an assume the post above is idiotic and irrelevant?
crazyrn 6
It means your boss can fire you at will; he doesn't need a reason why.
sheethapins 13
Ah, you're right. Pardon my intoxicated assumption without looking to see op was in the uk. Oopsie poopsie.
Jossylin 0
Whatta douche!
hateevryone 15
tell him to kiss your ass!
W3ST 0
Go cut urself.
IdfkMyUsernamexC 5
He must have something stuck up his ass lol
ikickgingers 15
A boomstick?
monkeysareyummy 0
Anal plug
tweetypie 18
A scepter?
sadistmonkey 19
That would be exactly the opposite of manning up...
DocBastard 40
Just tell everyone in the office that "Hail to the King" actually means "Go **** yourself, you pretentious twat". Then you can all say it as much as you want.
nava1210 12
Well then, HAIL TO THE KING!!!
KiddNYC1O 22
Smooth. ^
monkeysareyummy 0
So doc, what are those objects in the x-ray that are in the person? I can't tell.
ZTD09 2
If you can't tell you're probably not old enough to know.
thatKidzmOm 10
It's not IN the person....it's AROUND the...err...person.
MandyMeow_fml 18
Well 126. Thats an X-ray of a woman's pelvis and the little round thing you see is a condom stuck inside of her ******.
thatKidzmOm 10
Actually it's a guy with a **** ring.
Anubyte 0
What's the wire up by the spinal cord? Also, this may be stupid, but doesn't a X-ray only show medal, i.e. Not condoms?
jessesgirl14 16
152- I'm assuming you mean metal, but no, metal is not the only thing to show up in an xray...
DocBastard 40
The wire is just part of a heart monitor.
monkeysareyummy 0
I love this great, deep, and thoughtful conversation and all, but I just want to know what it is and not someone guessing if it has to do with cocks or not.
monkeysareyummy 0
Oops sorry I posted that comment ^ before I saw docs comment. Forgive me. But is that what the ring thing is too?
bamagrl410 31
142 - Usually before an x-ray you're asked to remove metal from the area being x-rayed. That would include a **** ring, so I'm not so sure that's what that is.
bamagrl410 31
Nevermind... Just read Doc's blog & found the explanation. I officially feel stupid.
jellitonoctopus 19
I'm thrilled to see you've updated the stories from trauma bay, they are my favorite bedtime stories.
MandyMeow_fml 18
Oh that would make more sense I mistook it for a woman's pelvis