Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Collection
Thanksgiving
Questions about your love life, a burnt turkey and the cousin who knows everything: Thanksgiving, a contact sport.
Same thing different taste
So close
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML
Chill, lady
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Fate
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
Idiot tax
Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML
A Dog's Love = Priceless
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Top comments
SeasonedLemur 5
Shiiiiiit! ****! that's literally THE worst fml I've ever read! if this fmls genuine I'm really really sorry for you mate! If I was in your shoes I'd probably shoot myself! But don't! I'd suggest pretending to have left something at her place, go round and rob the bitch!! Good luck fella.
james_aka_frosty 3
even with the correction it doesn't make sense
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Comments (91)
xMyazXtr3me 0
I don't believe this one.
SeasonedLemur 5
Shiiiiiit! ****! that's literally THE worst fml I've ever read! if this fmls genuine I'm really really sorry for you mate! If I was in your shoes I'd probably shoot myself! But don't! I'd suggest pretending to have left something at her place, go round and rob the bitch!! Good luck fella.
amadais 1
lies! nobody won the lotto today!
1215116a 14
I was wondering that to: Why does she have his ticket anyway? Anyway, if she was keeping it for him, he should have took it back when he broke up...
emoverlord 0
DAMNNN. >_
Zmeilerr 22
It's your own stupid fault for not taking it before you broke up with her. Your stupidity earns her money. Going to think things through a little more next time huh?
DarkHelmet 10
kick in her door take the ticket and then get her another when u get your winnings
TheDarkCynder 2
That REALLY sucks.
LanaBabii252 0
did you sign the back of the ticket? DUH
valalvax 13
I'm not 100% certain how everything works with the lottery, but they should be able to verify it was you who purchased the ticket
valalvax 13
I'm not 100% certain how everything works with the lottery, but they should be able to verify it was you who purchased the ticket
Michaelgee 2
I guess you can say there's a reason why they call it "lady luck" -Bad Pun Man