Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
So close
Today, not only did my ex-wife take everything in our divorce, my most recent lottery ticket was off by only one number, I would have won millions and she wouldn’t have been entitled to a penny. Oh well, back to sleeping in my caravan, which is all I have left. FML
Today, I gave my ex-girlfriend two concert tickets to show her I still care about her and want to win her back. She sold them. FML
Chill, lady
Today, a lady threw a coke bottle at my head because she had a non-winning lottery ticket. FML
Today, I scratched a lottery ticket I had gotten for my birthday and won $10,000. In celebration, I jumped up and raised my hands directly into a ceiling fan. Oh, and it was a fake ticket. FML
Fate
Today, I found out that my ex-girlfriend got engaged to a coworker. I got her the job. FML
Today, my current wife left me for my ex-wife. FML
Today, I won a lottery at my local grocery store. Excited, I went to claim my prize, only to discover it was a bottle of red wine. I'm a recovering alcoholic. FML
Idiot tax
Today, my boyfriend came home, complaining about not having enough money for bills. He then pulled a stack of lottery tickets out of his bag, saying, "I hope one of these wins." FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend announced he was engaged. We broke up last night. FML
A Dog's Love = Priceless
Today, I bought a lottery ticket. Two hours ago, I found out that the ticket was worth $100. Five minutes ago, I found my dog eating it. FML
Top comments
SeasonedLemur 5
Shiiiiiit! ****! that's literally THE worst fml I've ever read! if this fmls genuine I'm really really sorry for you mate! If I was in your shoes I'd probably shoot myself! But don't! I'd suggest pretending to have left something at her place, go round and rob the bitch!! Good luck fella.
james_aka_frosty 3
even with the correction it doesn't make sense
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Comments (91)
ninjaloverx3 0
what I don't understand is; how did he know he won if his girlfriend has the ticket ? o.0
kaengle 5
I was thinking the same thing
Rainbow_dumpster 28
I hope you signed the ticket before you broke up with her. If you didn't, then FYL. :
CoconutMuffin 5
I want to say YDI, but I guess if you weren't happy with her, then you had every right to break up with her. FYL for truly messed up timing.
timtuttlez 1
call the police. as long as you aren't married, you can tell them it's stolen
moonglow93 4
dam that sucks ! well get back wither && take the money n run!!
snooks99 0
hummm stupid idea? yess! u shouldve told the teacher dumbass!
snooks99 0
hummm stupid idea?? yess u shouldve kept it dumbass!
mante_fml 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I thought this was fml. no bs. lmao
ckay6 0
next time?
awesomesauce8 0
thats what you get for playing the lottery
snickers001 0
Karma ... and bad decision (: