Today, I woke up with a headache. My girlfriend said it might be from the night before, explaining she punched me while I was sleeping because I was snoring in her ear, and she dreamed a bee was attacking her. I'm not sure if I'm more concerned that she punched me, or that it didn't wake me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a pounding headache. My wife tells me that last night I woke up from a nightmare, screaming, tried to run away, and knocked myself out running headfirst into the bedroom wall. So she put me back to bed and went back to sleep. FML
Today, I woke up after my pregnant fiancée punched me in the face. Apparently, I rolled over in my sleep and knocked her out of bed. She is still pissed about it. FML
Today, I woke up my girlfriend up with a cute kiss. She was apparently having a bad dream and headbutted me. FML
Today, I woke up with a headache and a bruised forehead after my husband full-force elbowed me in the head last night in his sleep. It wouldn't be so bad, except for the fact he has zero memory of doing it. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, I woke up to a punch in the face. My girlfriend said it was because she dreamed that I'd bought all her friends Taco Bell but didn't bring her anything. FML
Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML
Today, before I went to bed, I watched a terrifying movie with zombies. I woke up with a headache, a bloody nose, and my mom standing over me frantically asking me what was wrong. Apparently I had been "fighting the zombies off" in my sleep and had been punching myself in the face. FML
Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend, who had just been awoken by her own fart. FML
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Top comments
mama2b3 20
haha that's funny. I sleep through almost anything, but I think getting punched in the face might wake me.
x805xUnknown 6
Maybe she punched you so hard you fell into a deeper sleep? Lol.
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Comments (73)
madskillz3088 0
next time tell her to give you head while you are sleeping!!! I bet you'll wake up... hopefully :o
machismo88 0
ur a fag.
x805xUnknown 6
Maybe she punched you so hard you fell into a deeper sleep? Lol.
anela_fml 0
lol there you are she was helpin you get more rest yea that's it lol
srunano 4
Yeah she blamed it on having a dream of hitting a bee.You don't deserve it but it is funny
nyc718 0
Mach, you do know she's going to be a twat and correct you also right? And op you need to titty punch that abusive girlfriend of yours.
mjolene 0
snickerdoodles, you are gay??
CloudEnvy 17
Bi is just greedy.
pandemic_fml 0
Dude, Snicker! Really? We can run away together, adopt a child, and teach him or her perfect grammar! <3 We'd be awesome mommies.
CloudEnvy 17
Biopolar. That's a bit annoying.
SeedlessMe 13
you're funny snick- now you make me laugh hahaha
MadPercussion 0
Snickers is bisexual because she could not get a boyfriend no matter how hard she tried. After many years of rejection, she decided that maybe she would have more luck with the same sex. But, needless to say, it didn't work out. Now she'll just take anything she can get... nah I'm just jokin around.
mxtn 0
Not to mentiion, the proper spelling is 'bipolar' not 'biopolar'
strandedinalimo 0
Titty punches hurt. :(
DGross 8
lol bad mood b/c it's 4:30am here :-) to the OP... I wouldn't worry about it... shit happens and I sleep heavy too... just make sure you lock your windows so an old man doesn't rape you in the middle of the night... just saying :-P
im2good25 0
your gf > you
CallMeHush 1
Just a thought, Sleep is different than unconcence(sp?) It could be that the girlfriend hit the glassed jawed OP and knocked him the **** out. Badass GF FTW. ( I ain't messin with her!)
mxtn 0
1. different from, not different than 2. It's unconsciousness.