Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…
Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML
Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML
Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML
DIY
Today, my brother asked to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Nope, he was just going to crack open a coconut he'd bought at the supermarket. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML
With friends like these…
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
Solved mysteries
Today, I found out the "mystery buzzing" in my apartment wasn’t an electrical problem. It was my landline cordless phone vibrating under the couch, which had apparently been stuck there for two days. I missed 23 calls, mostly from my mom. FML
Howdy!
Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Top comments
tyrob911 0
looks like you've got a nosey neighbour. if she's a female, I say drill her if you know what i mean
Anteezy 7
You are a heavy sleeper bro.
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Comments (115)
CamoChick13 0
ohh haha me thinks yu gots a stalkeR hahajaahaaha (:: YDI!!
irsmeagol 0
WIN!
Carbonchild 0
In your head would have sucked more.
slutbunny 0
Well at least your neighbor returned it.
DJones19 0
omg! creepy!!!
rafter007_fml 0
om gonna make you an offer you can't refuse. sucks to be you. be glad it wasn't a horse's head.
perdix 31
I hope the neighbor was kind enough to leave her sex toy attachment in the chuck, so you can experience the same mechanico-erotic pleasure she's been having all week. I mean, fair's fair, right?
heykelsey 0
another perdix win,
lenavis 0
perdix, please marry me.
iranoutofnames 6
aww how thoughtful. wish my neighbor broke into my house simply to return power tools in the middle of the night. saves the awkwardness of eventually havin to ask for it back!
Scorpio1989 0
wow what a creeper fyl
jayjay777 0
lol, that's hilarious, but I think that this is either fake, or the drill was given to another member of your family, who put it on your bed.