Today, I woke up with a cordless drill on my bed. The one I lent my neighbour last week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
I don't want to sound ungrateful, but…
Today, it was my birthday. I'd told my wife i would love a new battery drill, finally getting a decent one after all these years, and picked out a few nice ones. I opened the present: another cheap off-brand drill. They "didn't have any of the ones I picked out", but this one came with free drill bits. All useless. FML
Today, my roommate came back from camping. My toothbrush magically reappeared as well. FML
Today, in the early hours of the morning, a worker started drilling the road right in front of my window. He stopped 5 minutes before my alarm clock rang. FML
Today, I have to go to the dentist to get a tooth capped. Why? Because my room mate knows I sleepwalk and thought it would be funny to put a trip wire across the top of the stairs. It worked. FML
DIY
Today, my brother asked to borrow a hammer, a chisel, and a drill just in case. I asked him if he was finally getting round to starting work on his apartment. Nope, he was just going to crack open a coconut he'd bought at the supermarket. FML
Today, my friend thought it would be funny to use an electric sander on my arm during our construction class. FML
With friends like these…
Today, I let a friend borrow a power saw. When I found it on my porch later, the blade was missing and the cord was cut. Looking closer, I realized it was his saw. He kept my new one. He totally denies that he switched them and now won't answer his door. FML
Solved mysteries
Today, I found out the "mystery buzzing" in my apartment wasn’t an electrical problem. It was my landline cordless phone vibrating under the couch, which had apparently been stuck there for two days. I missed 23 calls, mostly from my mom. FML
Howdy!
Today, after a full year of work getting my house decorated, it was finally finished. I stepped back from the last painted wall to admire it and my neighbour on the other side of the wall, who was doing some decorating of his own, drilled too far and punched his drill bit right through the wall. FML
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Top comments
tyrob911 0
looks like you've got a nosey neighbour. if she's a female, I say drill her if you know what i mean
Anteezy 7
You are a heavy sleeper bro.
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Comments (115)
mtc4ever 0
...wow. I'd shit my pants lol. I wonder how long they watched you sleep before they left
PottentialFML 0
He was probably too "hammered" to remember or hear the screwing mercy
CTosh 0
Creepy...
rends 0
Jesus flinga if ur that fat and ugly don't even upload a picture of urself
hellzrydaz 0
every time perdix talks he wins. he is badsss
rmeyer6 0
creepy
Mi24hind 0
That's... creepy.
bunbun1116 2
i dont get it
spalways 0
that's scary....
SammIght 7
is you neighbor Herbert off family guy..?:)