jaqlove
Clementon, United States
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
no name
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Anonymous
Littleton, United States
Top o' the mornin' to ya
Today, I woke up bright and early… because a spider crawled into my ear. FML
foxbrat
United States
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Anonymous
United States
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Yudith
Welcome!
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Anonymous
Victoria, Canada
I am the passenger
Today, when I went to the bathroom, I found an earwig in my underpants. Yes, it was alive. FML
Anonymous
Added protein
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Anonymous
Rydalmere, Australia
Today, I was studying for a big test I have next Tuesday in my room. I heard a creak in my ceiling but assumed it was nothing as my house is old. Thirty seconds later something fell from my air vent directly onto my head. It was a giant cockroach. FML
wellesleybanana
United States
Morning!
Today, I finally got some sleep after an exterminator came yesterday and took care of our roach problem. I woke up and kissed my boyfriend good morning. Frowning, he told me I had something stuck on the corner of my mouth. It was a roach leg. Where is the rest of the roach? FML
mac
Bankstown, Australia
Today, my roommate showed me a video of a cockroach crawling all over my face while I was asleep in the lounge. FML
Top comments
Unenunciable 14
You should really go to the doctor to make sure it didn't lay any eggs in your ear canal!!
lex1459 38
Alright. Well. Safe to say I'll be sleeping with something covering my ears tonight.
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Comments (32)
Bookworm1315 13
This is my worst nightmare. I hate those nasty things. Maybe try sleeping with comfortable ear plugs
vegantreegirl 26
No! No! No! Time to burn the house down. =/ =/ =/
captainsmegma 12
Time for some light, make that heavy housekeeping.
CallMeACanadian 11
Better them what i read; i woke up with a cockroach in my rear!
SimplySaraya 9
If it was me I'd be pulling a Van Gogh...adios ear
species4872 20
Maybe it was there to get it's legs waxed...
Jeffame7 9
Ah shit! now u reminded me of the time I was stung on my ear by a wasp when I was a kid
manuwish 9
eeeeeeeewwww!!!OP that was the worst post I've read in a long time..poor OP ;(( Words can't even begin to describe how horrifying that sounds to me.
ishnation 11
Look at the bright side, at least it wasn't someone's tongue...
Demon_of_Light 27
Honestly, I might prefer someone's tongue. Someone's tongue can't get stuck in there and roam around freely (possibly laying eggs) until it gets medically removed.
brenton490 19
time to sleep in an inflatable bubble so keeps them nasty roaches out and burn that ear...