Today, I had to address a flatulence issue with an employee. Other employees are complaining about the smell. I have to continue addressing the issue until it stops. So far, I've talked to her about it 4 times. No end in sight. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML
Today, I’m stuck in a small office with a colleague with one of the worst cases of BO I’ve ever come across. He has already been spoken to about it, and I’m developing a nauseous headache from the stench. FML
Today, I was alone at the office. Having held it in all day, I let out the longest, worst-smelling fart of my life. The owner of the company, investigating the odd noise, opened my office door. When the stench hit him, he walked backwards all the way to his office, staring at me, in silence. FML
Today, another employee scolded me for being "socially awkward". The same employee who just before had a 10 minute discussion with a client about her poop. FML
Today, a client shouted at me over something that had nothing to do with me. She put such effort into shouting that she farted in my office. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach ache and had some pretty bad gas at work. I tried to head down to the basement for a while to allow my coworkers to continue in peace. About an hour after I came back up, my boss called pest control due to the horrible smell that "must be dead rats". FML
Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML
Today, my officemate used the telephone beside my desk again. I still can't think of a better way to tell him how awful bad his breath is without the having to do it personally. We've been workmates for a year now and he still hasn't gotten a clue, despite of me covering my nose every time. FML
Today, at work my boss called me into his office because he had received multiple complaints from coworkers about a prank sound machine I have been using to make inappropriate fart sounds at my desk. I wish it was a fart machine; I have a condition. FML
Today, there was an issue with the sewage system at work. It smelled like somebody took a turd, left it in the sun to marinate, threw up on it, then put in the air conditioning to fill the store with nauseating stink. I nearly threw up multiple times because we weren't allowed to leave early. FML
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Top comments
eog314 0
that stinks
A7X_LoVeee 10
Contact Boners and he'll hook her up with his assortment of butt plugs.
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Comments (158)
eog314 0
that stinks
eminemchick 19
that employee needs one of those butt plugs
Juliaa15 6
Whatever happened to "it's natural"? Or "better out than in"? Or "the dog did it"? I wouldn't stop either, having a stank will help me get my work done. No one wants to talk to stink ass. ):
BigHoshJosh 0
hey!!!.... that was witty
unvmesucka 0
Hook that stank ass bitch up with Beano!
TooQuick 1
Ever think that the women has Gastrointestinal problems and she can't hold it in?
volley4eva1698 0
47 it doesn't change the fact she's stinkin up the place
psycho9631 1
dam barking spiders!
notsocrazee 0
pooping and peeing are also natural bodily functions yet I don't sit at my desk and shit and piss myself; or announce when I'm going to do it.
bubble25_fml 5
I don't see the problem. girls who fart atre awesome!!! unless they had cabbage for lunch or are 300 pound obese cows...
ConradDavid 1
I don't know what kinda ffucked up hillbilly town you live in but hear a farting girl is a turn off...
larry12693 1
just tell the asshole behind her to stop talkin shit
cgyguy 0
y'all are heartless. imagine that poor persons embaressment having to live with uncontrolled flactuance. would you just rather hthem stay home and collect welfare? jc, have a heart!
2cacrawf 0
agreed imagine if that was you n you couldn't help it
btown1616 0
hang one of those tree shaped air freshener over her butt... problem solved
billyz77 24
No end in sight? If that were true, she wouldn't have this problem.
deepunder 17
No end in smell
6969awesome 0
fire her ass! Or ask politely
TacoDog 0
She does that already, that's the problem
volley4eva1698 0
poptart nyan cat to taco dog?
IndiRae 9
If they were to "fire her ass" there might be quite the explosion considering her condition.
angel55033 12
poptart cat? my friend Adam just commented on someone on facebook with one of them lol
EatnBeef 7
dude from cat in the hat: YOUR FIIIIREeeD
stoufer12 6
hahahaha nice one 43
rofflewaffle 9
As someone who suffers from IBS and other gastrointestinal issues, I have to say that everyone here is being incredibly insensitive and ignorant. She can't just stop any more than you can stop a cough or runny nose. I have tried many medications and none of them stop the gas. It must be absolutely humiliating for this poor woman, and you guys advocate terminating her employment because of her disorder. This employee could easily get a diagnosis of a medical condition and sue the company for discrimination. She's not doing it on purpose. She's not doing it to be malicious. She's not choosing them to smell a certain way. If she had Tourette's and made random noises, it would be annoying but you'd also be much more understanding. People think because "farts are funny" it's ok to mock sick people, and it's not.
omfg_creepers 8
she will stop once she ***** herself and all the other employees make fun of her and them she will quit her job and everyone will be happy
the_gabe254 0
ha ha ha ha. love this!!! what's funniest, is that it's so probable! lol
heyguysitsjosh 8
or u can buy her a butt plug! :D
BigDave469 15
I thought this FML was from my co-worker, but it is about a female, ha! I peel the paint off the walls at work with my wind!
marinus_fml 20
Just send the smelly bitch home for the day.
TeeHee124 0
Wait.... girls can fart?
Belovan 2
*GASp*
ImaginaryFoe 1
Without pay until she gets the message.
rebekahah 7
6- exactly! this FML is fake because girls don't fart. :) dude right above me- I think you commented on the wrong comment...
A7X_LoVeee 10
Contact Boners and he'll hook her up with his assortment of butt plugs.
pinkspaceboundro 0
Bahahahaha
emodude44 0
LMAO
thomas357 0
win!
billyz77 24
34 and 99. That's what the thumbs are for.
jdj07 5
wow seems like you're going to have a big ass issue at work! :-(
TheresNoEffingwa 7
eww it's a her! her butthole is on fire
esfox83 17
nice duck face..and what race are you? carrot?
TheresNoEffingwa 7
lmfao dude I'm a girl that's a pic I found on the funny pics app. chill out bro
TheresNoEffingwa 7
no wait I take that back it's the "epic fail" app.
squishy01 0
78- No worries. I was thinking the same thing…
perdix 31
I guess she doesn't give a shit. Buy her some of those charcoal underpants and deduct it from her co-workers wages. They'll be happy with the sacrifice.
AloysiusWeasley 15
I had to Google that. WTF.
The_Darth_Wabbit 3
just bring up the issue as much as you can to embaress her. like in the commercial, "your son, Rip, is on line toot." another one can be, is pretend to insult her work, walk by and say "you're going to do some 'shitty work' doin that." FYL
starile 20
You are oh so clever, how are you not a millionaire comedian sleeping on piles of hot bitches every night?
OCDC 9
39 - I forgot people aren't allowed to express their opinions on here. Chill the **** out, people can say whatever they want.
sadistmonkey 19
Being a millionaire comedian has nothing to do with being funny. Just look at Dane Cook.