Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
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Top comments
ediciusNJ 0
This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.
jpgray1982 0
haha poo face
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Comments (84)
coolsteve 0
smack that kid
missey_jey 0
smack her? wtf? child abuse
xlostwithoutu 0
it's NOT child abuse! Smacking or spanking a child is discipline. Punching or kicking a child... now that's illegal child abuse. Didn't ur mama ever give you a whack every now and then? Get a clue...
homemaker 0
Ydi for not being able to hear her get up, don't you have a monitor. I have a 17 month old and I wake up at every noise. He is never up with out me being awake.
epic_phail 0
Sounds like you are implying the OP is a bad parent. Perhaps YOU are the bad parent for being way to over protective.
mercedeslove 0
thats sad, he's gunna end up being a pussy ass mamas boy
xlostwithoutu 0
I feel bad for your kid, he's gonna be into knitting and chess a little mamas boy.
Cristaderzi 0
LOL at Two punishment has NO EFFECT on children!!!! So those of ya calling for punishment PLEASE get sterilized!! We have enough psychotics runnin around as is!!!
myfriend_youfail 3
*winces* Why did you have to rape the exclamation point? And speaking of getting sterilized...please don't breed. Any child of yours would probably enjoy shoving question marks into their various orifices. ;)
natsaysheyyy 16
How do you suppose we discipline our children without punishment...?
TrekkieGirl 0
Just wow....this does not make having kids seem appealing!
im_rocking 0
eewwwww...... yuk gak thu
Scorpio1989 0
@29, not everyone has super sensitive hearing, ya know! I sometimes don't hear my 2 year old get up and get breakfast food out for me to make. FYL op its gross lol
Dphilipson 0
I've heard this before.
tdawgheath 0
I said you deserve it, cuz obviously if your kid is that dumb you're not raising it right, no matter what age.
jeniilouise 0
that's not kids being dumb, that's just - kids! and i don't think you're in a good place to say how well the OP is raising is child, having just referred to a child as 'it'.
kellan1100 0
dude the kids not dumb she's 2
Jen_J_the_J 0
and thats why we do not have children (:
intint50 0
but your parents obviously did, so...
noboundary 9
oh..BURN!!!!
alin123 0
I'd puke in her face