Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
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Top comments
ediciusNJ 0
This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.
jpgray1982 0
haha poo face
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Comments (84)
fuzz97 23
kids are stupid. :P
i8thelastcookeii 0
as are you, even though you have a fully developed brain.
bluetype2 0
What's a Nappy?
Ascaryrobot 0
A diaper I guess is what you'd call it. Though how you couldn't get that from reading the post I'll never know.
DonkeyDelight 0
Really? It's just the British word for diaper. I thought it would be obvious, where else would the shiz be?
jonny2x4 0
It's called a nappy because the old-school diapers were made of cotton linen, the same material as cloth napkins, hence the name "nappy"
britishbabe 0
r u Australian??
xlostwithoutu 0
Obviously it's a diaper.
aback 5
Take a dump on *her* head and see how she likes it.
youthink_fml 0
YDI for allowing a 2-year-old to run around the house while you sleep.
catatonicsleep 17
what's he supposed to do, lock his kid in her room?
yakturk43 0
HHAHAHAHAHA YDI for sleeping on the job
dell126 0
Yeah because kids never get up before their parents and sneak around. I take it you don't have kids and/or are a child-free.
hahathatsux 0
i think some kid needs to get shaken till she sleeps
mercedeslove 0
ftw
davidhasmorefun 0
good job being a fail parent. two year olds watching themselves now? ydi
pegasus77 0
It could've been done at night. Or maybe the mom was somewhere else in the house. You never know the situation
BlueTwist89 0
Omg, ewwwww. FYL for having nasty kids.
jujujube 0
tasty hug xD
fogrunner 13
YDI for breeding. :)