Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ediciusNJ 0
This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.
jpgray1982 0
haha poo face
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
shortrevolution 0
That's delightful..
IceColdCholo 0
she's 2 and NOT potty trained?? fayel
LivyGirl0611 9
You're 18 and can't spell? fayel
dolphingirl00 0
... I don't even know what to say to this. ... eeew
amam96 7
Well, my dad used to tear off his diapers and eat his poop. But seriously lady, 2 years old, she should be in the process of being potty trained. She should also be punished for this little incident. She's 2, pooping on everyone isn't cute and she needs to learn that.
vizombie 16
Thank you for reminding me why I dislike the thought of having children.
natsaysheyyy 16
Oh no...my (theoretical) daughter would be dead right now. No, I wouldn't hit her. I'd do something like throw away her favorite toys or not let her eat anything sweet for a year or something...something awful.
TheEpicPies 15
Delicious.
Stuffaluffagus 25
One more reason i hate kids
Katarzhenya 2
BAHAHA. Oh no. Gross. I was a nanny for a potty-training 3 year old who had lots of accidents; cleaning poop sucks!
GemmaAnne 10
Haha Poop face!