Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I went to check on my 2 year-old daughter in her playroom, since she was being awfully quiet. I walk in to see her finger painting with her own feces on her kiddie table. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
Today, my 2-year-old woke up from her nap with a full diaper, then decided to climb down from her bed and got stuck under the railing, leaving a stinky trail of poop everywhere. FML
Today, I was babysitting my friend's two year-old daughter. Within 15 minutes, she had crawled out of her crib, taken off her diaper, and smooshed her poop in between the cracks in the floor. I put her in the tub, left to get a towel, and came back to her pooping in the tub. FML
Today, my toddler is starting to realize when she has a dirty diaper. How do I know? She walked up to me with a shit covered hand, saying "Poop Mommy! Poop!!" FML
Today, my daughter went potty. Just as she always does, she came up to me and announced, "I flushed, and wiped, and shut the light off." Then she did something brand new. She covered my face with her hand and asked, "Do these fingers smell?" They did. FML
Today, while changing my daughter's diaper, I lifted up her butt to wipe her, which coincidentally caused her to fart. I hadn't wiped her yet so the force of air caused poop to fly at me at high speed, landing on my chest and face. My husband burst out laughing, saying, "You've been ass-blasted!" FML
Today, I was washing dishes while my 2-year-old was napping… or so I thought. When I finished and went to check on her, I found she'd taken off her diaper and smeared poop all over the carpet. She must have been up a while because it was everywhere. I spent the next hour scrubbing. FML
Today, while driving home, my 3-year-old daughter told me she had to poop. I told her that she would have to wait until we got home. When we got home, she pulled down her pants and shat on the floor, because, "I'm home now." FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ediciusNJ 0
This reinforces my belief that children are not sweet, cute and good-smelling but instead nasty, disgusting-smelling carriers of filth.
jpgray1982 0
haha poo face
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (84)
Jimboom 12
Your 2 year old is still in a nappy? Toilet train that little bugger.. YDI!
GeorgeBoosh 0
Ha ha ha! I was married to someone like that once. I'd prefer the 2 yr old
sarcdude 3
........ EW.
tori_16 0
ok im not gunna say ydi but ... how did she manage to get on your bed...and also how come she isnt potty trained...now what i really wnted to say was.... FYL HA HA HA!!!!! :) oh and ...sucks to be you
Boy_Flow 0
lol oh my god thats nasty, your life does suck
iMario79 0
ydi for having a son
BBKat 0
But they don't have a son, they have a daughter.
Boy_Flow 0
lol smooth dumbass
Improbability 0
Punishment automatically = behavior is 1) outdated, lazy thinking and 2) doesn't apply here. It would be like punishing her for not asking to get down from dinner table when her language includes "momma" "dadda" and "baba." Which I have seen. Punishment should be used wisely. If not, it will lead to worse behavior and learning issues. Two is when potty training begins for most children and some times later. There is no reason to fault the OP for the daughter not being fully potty trained. There are also plenty of perfectly valid reasons for why Mom was asleep when the daughter did this. Still sucks, but there's not much you can do but tell them it was wrong, and teach them how to use the potty.
oliver_13 0
hi guys, i'm the OP (shitface) one, i'm a man people! i'm a MAN two, my wife had just gotten her out of the crib and was letting her play around on our bed while i slept, so it's all my wife's fault :| three, she is potty trained but it was the morning and she wears a nappy to bed.
oliver_13 0
and four, that was not intended harshly :)
stewie1744 0
damn!!! that's sick lmao
kimberlymhm 0
8?