Today, I woke up to find our Christmas tree knocked over, unwrapped presents scattered everywhere, and my mom passed out on the sofa with a bottle of booze. Merry Christmas. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML
Today, after spending hours putting up our tree and decorating it, it fell over and shattered the glass ornaments. FML
Today, nothing said Christmas quite like my dad taking 18 shots of vodka, falling on the Christmas tree while holding our 3-year-old cousin and denying it ever happened when he woke up later. FML
Today, to try to have a less depressing Christmas, I've put up a small tree in my apartment and wrapped some presents for myself. I woke from a nap to the sound of my cat vomiting. What did she throw up on? The presents. FML
Today, I received a very expensive bottle of wine for Christmas. My alcoholic mother snuck into my house while I was out and drank the whole bottle. FML
Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML
Today, my family and I were decorating the Christmas tree. It seemed a bit unstable, but we decorated it without any problems. Later, while my daughter sat by the tree, it began to fall. Her grandmother stopped the tree from hitting her. I, on the other hand, screamed like a little girl. I'm a 38 year-old guy. FML
Today, my family decided to break tradition and wake up at midnight to open presents. I didn't find out until I went downstairs to get a glass of water in the middle of the night, and found wrapping paper and empty boxes everywhere. FML
Today, my apartment was broken into. The thief stole my TV, $350, and my Christmas tree. There is still a trail of broken ornaments from my living room to the door. FML
Today, my family and I noticed that our Christmas tree had been stolen from our front garden. Last night, a group of girls from my village posted a status on Facebook stating how drunk they were, and how they had stolen a Christmas tree. I "liked" it. FML
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Top comments
ninjaboy18 6
Looks like Santa and your mom had a good time.
JustLikeTheStars 10
Your mom knows how to party! Lmao.
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Comments (92)
Zebediabolical 45
In four months there will be a 'Moms pregnant' on FML
cr3ativity 15
Wouldn't it take less time to know if one's pregnant or not?
klovemachine 24
Some women don't know they are pregnant even longer than that (I've seen it in TV)
cr3ativity 15
So that pregnancy testing mechanism is somewhat fallible? *learn something new in every comment thread*
pheebs314 17
Yes. That's why they only claim to be like 99% accurate... They're like condoms. Better than guessing but there's still a chance.
AntFinney 9
Well if ya saw it on TV it MUST be true!!
gmc_blossom 21
There's an entire show dedicated to women who didn't know they were pregnant. It's called, "I didn't know I was pregnant."
emilyjgraham 34
It can happen, women can still get their periods and seeing how that's an indicator that says "YOU'RE NOT PREGNANT" to most women, on some occasions it lies to us! **** your life OP, any other time of the year is not too bad although it's not really excusable to drink yourself into a stupor. I just hope everyone else knows how to cook dinner because she probably won't be this year!
YacL 15
Too much Egg Nog does that to a person. Yeah, don't go there, as you can see it's not pretty.
klovemachine 24
Merry Christmas!
oj101 33
Ke$ha- ten years later. Little is different, apart from having kids, and now wakes up in the living room 'with a bottle of jack 'not a bathtub.
perdix 31
I blame the cat! He sure does get around -- knocking Christmas trees on ladies wrapping presents, and such.
FMLKitten 15
Excuse you! I've never done anything of the like. It was the dog who did it, I assure you.
viagradoesntwork 7
That's what happens every year to my family. Except its my neighbor who breaks in
barefootchic 6
Police?
ICastillo 25
Well at least somebody had fun unwrapping presents.
HortonThelephant 15
Thank you!! :) Merry Christmas to you as well OP!
Donovan_757 8
Good thing she wasn't a ho ho ho....or was she?
ICastillo 25
Only Santa Claus will now the truth if you know what I mean..
jdm_powered 6
silly tree was hogging all the gifts. your mom didn't like that one bit.