Today, I woke up to an unfamiliar male face right beside mine. I flipped out fell of my 4 foot raised bed and got a concussion. Who, you may ask, was in my bed? My Robert Pattinson pillowcase. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to find my face covered in scratches, some of them bleeding. I was rather puzzled, as I don't have a cat. Then I realised that the feathers in my pillow had stuck out and scratched my face. I was attacked by my own pillow. FML
Today, I went to watch a movie. In the middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's shoulder. He was caressing my hair. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, I was in bed when I rolled over and saw a hand right beside my head. I freaked out and nearly peed myself, just to realize that it was the huggable heart pillow my boyfriend had given to me on Valentine's Day. FML
Today, I woke up to my husband's face. That'd be nice if he hadn't turned his eyelids inside out, waiting to scare me. I was scared alright. So scared that I pissed myself and broke my side table falling out of bed. FML
Today, I was awoken to a punch in the face. My boyfriend said I was giggling in my sleep and he thought I was possessed. FML
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
Today, I was lying in bed, staring at the ceiling with the lights off. It was 1AM and I'd just finished watching a scary movie so I was a little paranoid. I was about to fall asleep when an eerie light lit the room. I jumped, got tangled in the sheets, and hit my head against the bed frame. Where'd the light come from? Not a space ship. Not someone breaking in. It was my phone. FML
Today, like every other day, I suffer from insomnia. On returning to the bedroom after a very late night shower to hopefully get some rest, I sat on my cat. I jumped up quickly and smacked my face against the cupboard. I then looked back to see if she was OK. I'd sat on my Squishmallow. FML
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Top comments
caancoha 0
Oh, look. He's watching you sleep.
IMB916 0
YDI for having such bad taste in men.
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Comments (300)
emilybock 0
hahahaha made my dayy
glamorousdays 0
YDI for having a Robert Pattinson pillowcase.
jaysaysss 0
HARRY POTTER IS WAY ******* BETTER BITCHES (: twilight and iandrea can suck itt hardcore
Breeneefml12 0
ydi for liking ugly,hairy,pale,STD filled men
Firesprite2009 0
He is rather hairy, isn't he? He's like one of the men you'd expect to see back in prehistoric times.
Kexat 0
Ok, YDI. Not for liking Twilight (as terrible as it really is), but because you put a person's face on your pillows. I'm sorry, but could you not see this coming a mile away? Doesn't matter how hot you find someone (but seriously, RPats? EW!), at 3am when you're half asleep, if there's a face by you, you WILL FREAK OUT!
Kexat 0
Well, scratch that, YDI is a bit harsh since it probably hurt like a mofo, but seriously? It is a pretty dumb thing to do.
chicken_lover 2
have you guys noticed that every comment about twilight being aweeeeesummmmm!@$@!$!@$%% has been moderated? haha. well anyway, i think sleeping with a pillow that any face on it is creepy. like really? get a boyfriend. and i agree that robert pattinson is ugly, but that's beside the point. just don't sleep with pillows that have faces or you will be terrified when you are half asleep. i hope you feel better though. :)
EatMyCrayonz 0
indeed
ihateme2 0
get a life. get a boyfriend. robert pattinson's fricking ugly. ppl just started liking him cuz he was edward cullen. if they used your dad as the actor, ppl would start ******* over him too.
jawtherian 2
right on 94, but it's still funny as hell
jawtherian 2
jawtherian 2
did it ever occur to anybody that this person is a teenage girl who wouldn't be having anybody "spend the night" anyways?