Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I turned on my boyfriend's computer and saw pictures of all of my credit cards, front and back, and several of my parent's credit cards. I looked in his e-mail and found receipts for items which had been billed to me and delivered to him, including golf clubs and my birthday gift. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I have an extra key. I snuck into his bed with sleep with him and noticed how soft his skin was. Turns out I had been feeling up the girl he was sleeping with and he was in the bathroom. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making the bed, at 2 AM. And he wasn't so much making the bed as he was holding a pillow while lost in thought, looking at me. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Today, I caught my boyfriend cheating right after I maxed out my credit card buying him everything on his Christmas list. FML
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Top comments
astralvagan 20
Wow what a douche! Hopefully you dumped his ass
MEM0817 18
I thought the same thing... But then when I saw the word "boyfriend" the thought of him peeing the bed passed through my head momentarily too.
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Comments (66)
CanadiAnM8 24
You should talk with your bf and tell him "If I ever catch you doing some stupid like that again, it's over" also take the bitches money and go on a shopping spree. PAYBACK BITCHHHH
Epikouros 32
That was a well-written FML with a great twist. If nobody else said this, it's because everybody thought it was obvious.
PonyTails13 3
at least you caught him...better now than through your credit card bill
eternal_malaise 10
Wake up earlier and borrow his card.
Fernando83 19
Let him use it and report it stolen. **** him and let him go to jail.
skyeyez9 25
The sun rises at around 5:30am where I am at, and the sun's rays in my face at that hour would bug me. Blackout curtains are the best!
that60steen 5
Time to break up and check your savings!
Czech_Zidane 14
He knows the PIN code? Why? And if he does not know it, what is the problem? He probably would not be so lucky to guess it. I would NEVER give my PIN code to anybody and if needed to do, I would change the PIN code ASAP afterwards.
Cathrin 26
You're thinking of a Debit or ATM card. Credit cards don't use PINs.
SanguineVisions 6
Maybe it's possible he's subtly telling you spend too much money?
fmylifeNOT 15
Whoa