Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
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Comments (98)
miss_Ali 0
ladies man
CoachLlama 5
Time to move.
shitdesturbur 0
say: your eyes are beautiful
kasumii 1
Roommates are the WORST. I feel for you. =(
colombiancartel 0
I've been waiting to say this: "He's a keeper!"
jackygirl2 0
No cuteness/hotness/goodlooking definintly overrides creepiness.
willslifeishorri 1
that sounds like the start of something beautiful :)
wriptidez 0
creepy ickkkk
mysticwater 0
albeit a bit creepy
ImBeingLiedTo 0
#77 is dead sexy :D