Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
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Comments (98)
jezzibell 0
that's worth it if your rent is lowered... right?
bbReal 0
knock him out!
Perdition 4
Put your things in your room, lock your room and hole up with a friend. Problem solved.
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I see a beautiful relationship in your future.
alexak1 0
embrace it. WORK. THAT. GAY. MAN.
youfailed18 0
He can't get laid any other way! Might as well get a sleeper!
RedPillSucks 33
A couple of well placed kicks to the groin ought to cure him of that. Otherwise you'll need to find a new place.
worldclass 0
.... say something.
Glenn_Coco 0
Haha This reminds me of white chicks. xD
sammiller4 3
haha I woke up to a guy cuddling my leg. talk about awkward
zemo999 0
Can I have the other leg?!?!???
Brandi_Faith 34
Ewww!!! Tell her that it's not alright to just have someone live with you without consulting you first seeing as you live there to! If you are the owner of the place and it's not split 50/50, then you could give them a few months till February or something and then he has to find a new place; if not, then fyl!! You're screwed now, but after this I'd sit down with your roomate and possibly lay down some ground rules from both sides. For now, sleep with one eye open and a knife under your pillow just in case!!!