Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
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Comments (98)
Peasanthunter_fml 0
Oh man! You hit the craigs list room mate jackpot!
aback 5
Tell her Brother Creeper moves out, or you'll find him a place to stay at the jail, plus a nice "Sexual Offender" label to carry for the rest of his life.
Nadinek98 0
that's hot.
JERZBornNRaised 7
hmmmm maybe when you sleep in your room lock your door? there ya go problem solved :)
its_tuesday 6
get a deadbolt for your bedroom door and sleep with a knife under your pillow until you can move out lol.
Invierno 10
If you're both on a lease, then you should know that he's not allowed to live there under the residence's contract unless the owners approve of it and have him sign the lease as well. Talk to her first, explain your discomfort, and hopefully get him out of there as soon as possible. If he really has no place to stay, maybe give them a month or so. However, take it up with a complaint with management if she's unwilling to make him give you your space and you're uncomfortable with him living there. You could get evicted too if they find out he's living there without being on the lease. Plus, regardless of whether he's on the lease or not, make sure he (or your roommate) is paying some sort of rent for his stay there and will contribute for the bills. Freeloaders end up being ungrateful most of the time anyway, so no need to feel bad. It's not your problem, and your roomie should have been more considerate anyway. If you're not on a lease: GTFO.
youdon'tknowme 9
Agreed. No lease= GTFO. Lease = take it to management. Usually specific rules that "guests" are only allowed to live there for a week or so. Then THEY have to GTFO.
PWAU 0
It's about time to find another roommate.
xKiera710 0
how the **** does he touch your leg while smelling your hair ........... unless you're a midget
nerdsgetmehot 23
#57 She probably sleeps with her legs bent/her body curled in a ball.
Zebidee 9
Pretty easily, I'd imagine.
stevenmx86 8
Least he wasn't stroking your hair and smelling your leg..
cottoncandyrox 0
your roomates brother Is A FREEK!!