Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
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Comments (98)
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
WhatTheFuq 0
This reminds me of my senior year in high school.
funktown 2
did u 2 wake up to eachother?
Perdition 4
I think they did- going by their profile pictures, I'd say they were made for each other.
WhatTheFuq 0
lol. Why is everyone hating on my pic. 25 was that sign pouting toward a window to your sisters room?
WhatTheFuq 0
lol. 25 you'r a funny kid, and is that sign pointing to your sister's window?
WhatTheFuq 0
I hate my phone. x.x. sorry for double post.
Perdition 4
Lololol. Look at the two lovebirds trying to troll. Hey, geniuses, it's a snowboard. Last I checked, it's very different thing from a sign. Go back to enjoying your silent guido love for each other.
daisydukes95 0
[Account banned for repeatedly uploading **** as their display picture despite multiple warnings] Original comment: that's happened to. me before.... except he was rubbing my breast and he almost ripped out my nipple ring.. it was sore for like a month :(
TheRealFamilyGuy 5
We may have a situation here!!!
FarSide 23
Not to worry OP. He is a highly trained TSA employee
Icyyy 0
Troll, I was looking at your profile pic, and then my alarm went off - the ringtone was set as a dog bark. o_o
jackygirl2 0
you have a weak wannabe six pack.
chuchurocket 4
I think 14 is pretty hot
matty134 0
thats a pretty shit snowboard lmfao
xGUMMYBEARSx 0
haha calm down #8 . for all yu kno , he could hav only one eye and five nipples on his face :O
CalebEatsZombies 2
Hershey kiss nipples?
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
Zmeilerr 22
I think **** would be a more appropriate word.
Sun_Kissed18 25
probably :P but I say frick
CalebEatsZombies 2
This sounds like the movie the room mate :3
aidanawesome 0
ydi bitch
Degrassi_Girl97 0
ha ewww was he cute?
theFMLiest1ofThe 0
does cute override creepy? I mean I know ugly multiplies creepy, but i'd hardly think OP should accept that behavior from anybody, regardless of looks
tencentsakiss 19
I wouldn't care if he looked like the most attractive man in the world. I'd get the **** out of there.
smashgrab 0
Time to change the locks and find a new roommate!
claiiire_fml 17
how does she deserve it?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
She deserves it for being attractive. Many steps she could take to avoid this burden. YDI op! (;
Sun_Kissed18 25
trolls...
WhatTheFuq 0
He sounds nice.
stronghand0331 17
Ah yes, I'm sure Jack The Ripper was quite the gentleman as well.
l2spellbud 0
Actually he was. All the real 'suspects' (not the phony 'crazies') were considered rich gentlemen. Jack wasn't crazy, he just didn't like prostitutes. I doubt a ***** is a lady, so wouldn't it be a gentlemen thing to do by taking her out? Think about it.
domolovesyoshi 33
I think I might need more therapy because that made a lot of sense, it's actually creepy how much sense that made.
babygirlc1 5
creeper!
lolztaz 0
get outa there and find a new roommate
funktown 2
What a pimp.
bulldogs1 0
awesome shoes...just saying
funktown 2
thank u sir