Today, I woke up to a man stroking my leg while smelling my hair. I asked my roommate who he was and she said, "Oh, that's just my brother. He needs a place to stay and he will be living with us until June. Didn't I tell you that?" No, you didn't. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
Today, I found out that while I was on vacation my neighbor had let my brother into my apartment. I don't have a brother. FML
Today, I woke up to my creepy new roommate licking my cheek. FML
Today, I found out that the guy I like was only coming to my house to get closer to my brother. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I woke up to my younger brother picking his nose with my fingers. His explanation? "You were sleeping." FML
Today, a guy beat the crap out of me for supposedly sleeping with his girlfriend. I didn't get a chance to tell him my brother lives with me and that he had the wrong guy. When my brother got home, he didn't ask if I was okay, but rather if the guy was coming back for him. FML
Today, I got a new roommate in the dorms. When I got back to my room, I could smell her feet before I even opened my door. FML
Today, I woke up to a stranger in my bed. Just as my parents responded to my screaming, I remembered that I'd helped my boyfriend sneak in through my window last night. FML
Today, my screw-up brother turned up at my house, expecting to move in rent free. Apparently, mom kicked him out and sent him to me. He's a freeloading demon, who's almost impossible to get rid of, so I told him to get lost and locked my door. Now my mom calls every 5 minutes to call me a selfish asshole. FML
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Top comments
Sun_Kissed18 25
That's when you calmly pack your things... and get the frick out of there!
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Good times(:
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Comments (98)
fukkuidc 0
Tell him to **** off. Problem solved. This is not an FML.
Haterman123 0
i agree
zemo999 0
Nice taters!! ;)
youtub 0
r u a model
Dinkle 1
It's just a picture he/she grabbed of the interwebs =/
Jimboom 12
Mmm. Sexytime. Is nice!!
perdix 31
If your rent is reduced from 1/2 to 1/3, suck it up and enjoy the savings and the affection.
pannic 0
**** off I would let a gay brother stroking my leg and smelling my hair stay in my apartment :|
lovable_ditz 3
He isn't on the lease so you can have him thrown out.
yourmurderscenex 13
i woke up to a guy kissing my forehead and running his fingers through my hair. not a fun experience, i would buy a nice lock for your door or kick them both out.
nerdsgetmehot 23
Definitely buy a lock for your door and barricade it when you're sleeping just in case. What a crappy situation!
abunton08 0
That's just plain out creepy
SisyphereanTask 2
Time to kick your roommate and her brother out. Remind your roommate that if she doesn't leave ASAP you will be pressing sexual assault charges against her brother. And no, she can't have her 1/2 of the deposit back!
Niaa_fml 0
So he was smelling the hair on your legs?