Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
shellzy 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
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Comments (371)
unluckyv 7
Yuck now out wanna throw up
kabiedarling 0
You normally throw up when you brush your teeth? WTF? What's the point in even brushing them if your breath is going to smell like shit and stomach acid anyway? -.- xp
raaachel12345 0
Because when people brush their teeth, they usually brush their tongue. If you press down on the back of your tongue, it causes you to gag because of the gag reflexes back there. Simple enough.
elementalz 2
Average statistics u swallow over 500 bugs while u sleep in a lifetime
Gothicbunnyx3 16
That's disgusting!
iBagel 4
Stop sucking the **** and this wouldn't have happened.
FollowMe 2
I told you not to hang timone and pumba, that's what will happen! You will start liking GRUB!
mizzpoetic08 0
o_O whoa. for now on, im sleeping with duct tape around my mouth.
captainaerh 0
was it alive?!?
frackhappens 3
Eeeewwwwwwwwww!
staymintyfresh 13
You made it seem like it was a regular thing for you to throw up while brushing your teeth. You have a seriously over active gag reflex.