Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
shellzy 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
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Comments (371)
lizliz23 0
dead or alive
DaveMatthewsBand 4
That's ******* nasty :( ugg :
qtownalex 1
Who throws up a cockroach?! This story seems so fake
csull356 3
ehhhhhh?
victo890 11
FYL!! OMG ! I remember when o went or Florida I saw this humoungis ! Cockroach just by seeing it i was scared but unfourtunetly for me I was eatin while reading this !!!!!!
vitaldisplay 0
Mmmm yum
kei1108 13
Um.. The cockroach is very unusual and disturbing, but gagging when you brush your tongue is not. Don't go back so far!! You aren't supposed to throw up!!! Or gag at all!!
glcerio 0
No wonder you get rewarded for brushing your teeth... Oh wait wrong fml or is it?
jayejayejaye122 3
How could u not notice????!
nateshannon1 4
wouldnt throwing up defeat the purpose of brushing your teeth in the first place? im no math magician but...