Today, I woke up, rolled over, and kissed the boy who was peacefully sleeping next to me, cheerfully saying, "Good morning, baby!" That boy is my dog. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was woken up by my wife softly kissing me on the lips. Half asleep, I kissed her back, before quickly opening my eyes and realising it wasn't my wife; it was my dog. FML
Today, as I do every morning, I woke up and gave my dog, who sleeps next to me, a kiss on the nose. Except that this morning he had been sleeping the other way round. I kissed him on the ass. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I awoke in bed with my boyfriend and his dog. After some pushing and prodding, I thought my boyfriend was trying to move the dog out of the way to cuddle with me. It turns out, he was moving the dog closer to him. My boyfriend would rather spoon with his dog than me. FML
Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML
Today, I woke up to my dog laying on the pillow next to me. When he saw that I was awake, he wagged his tail happily and then promptly sneezed in my face. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone. After a short pause I hear him say "I love you." Smiling I say, "I love you too." Then he says, "I was talking to my dog." FML
Today, I was napping with my boyfriend and his dog. The dog was making odd coughing noises, but my boyfriend refused to kick him out of the bed. A few moments later, I rolled onto my stomach, into a pile of dog vomit. FML
Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML
Today, my husband woke up, rolled over, and said, "Good morning, beautiful." He hasn't called me that in months, but as I was about to reply, I realized he was talking to his pet turtle, not me. FML
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Top comments
needleinmypants_fml 3
did you had a fun night? some ppl have animal fetishes. don't worry I respect it.
hiyourcute 0
There's no shame in puppy love
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Comments (54)
traze 7
Girl you to get out and find yourself a man seriously or you might find peps giving you weird looks.
daddyZHOM3 0
get some!
michaelm1290 23
Are you used to sleeping with gorilla juice heads that are as hairy as a dog?
sourgirl101 29
I guess you love your dog. Nothing wrong with that. (:
hellokat1 0
Yea Op, don't feel bad. Dogs are the best :)
KristinaKreme 0
Says the cat. ;]
hellokat1 0
Even though my dp is of my cat, my dogs are always #1.
iRCassxD 0
Aw. [:
mrahhhhh 21
Looks like you're that dog's bitch.
agSWAAAAG 0
you say good morning to your dog....I don't see why that's so bad. at least your not waking up to some random man
bubblekitty 1
dogs have personalities too
enonymous 9
Your dog must not have seen how the other 10 guy snuck out of your bed after a one night stand.
oSaraho_fml 2
and what's wrong with that?