Today, I woke up next to the girl I had drunk intercourse with last night. Before we got it on, I noticed a package of birth control pills on her nightstand. Because of this, I felt no need to use a condom, or pull out. When I woke up, I noticed those "pills" were actually a makeup case. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up with a used condom on my face. Turns out my roommate had sex with his girlfriend during the night and instead of getting up and throwing it away, he decided to throw it across the room. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she's pregnant. She'd told me she was on birth control, so I asked her to show me. She had been sticking the pills up her vagina like a suppository. FML
Today, after getting into bed, I found a used condom under my covers. I asked my roommate about it. She freely admitted that since my bed was comfier than hers, she had sex with her boyfriend on it. FML
Today, I found out that I'm going to be a mother. This was a mystery, since I take birth control and use condoms all the time. Or, at least, it was, until my mother admitted to swapping my pills and poking holes in my condoms so she could have a grandchild before she died. FML
Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend is on the pill, and even though my girlfriend took emergency contraception, she became pregnant days after the first time we had sex without a condom. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for cumming inside her because she did not want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I went to work leaving my girlfriend asleep in my bed. Later she calls me, demanding to know how long I've been cheating on her. We don't use condoms but she found several in the bin when she decided to empty it. I had to explain while my colleagues listened that I use them to masturbate. FML
Today, I whacked off with a condom on and left it in the living room waste basket so it looked like I finally had sex with someone. FML
Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when I came. She got pissed and slapped me really hard for coming inside her because she didn't want to get pregnant. 1. I was wearing a condom. 2. She's on the pill. 3. We were having anal sex. FML
Today, I found out that the white marks on my pillow aren't from me drooling in my sleep like I originally thought. My roommate used my pillow to help support her lower back during intercourse with her hookup from last night. FML
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Top comments
SMG227 0
YDI for calling it "intercourse"
buddy51 23
Welcome to the wonderful world of AIDS!
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Comments (154)
kindness 0
you're a moron. YDI. for being drunk, and for having sex so frivolously.
isminei 6
Frivolously :3
saucey12 1
Dumb ass....
dacho 7
Yea, cause condoms are there ONLY as a protection from getting pregnant. Ah, United States, I love you
Rayn4u_fml 0
You noticed birth control pills on a nightstand and therefore decided to have unprotected sex with a drunk stranger. Did it ever occur to you that: - since she said yes to you, she probably said yes to a few others - birth control pills don't protect against STIs FAIL! Who is still THAT dumb nowadays? FAIL AGAIN! Why would you advertise your stupidity on this website AND complain about it?!
tjigga 0
69, win for what you said and the obvious reasons
qwerty554 4
So true. OP is an idiot.
cryssycakesx3 23
it doesn't say she's a stranger...
LunaBlack666 23
"the girl I had drunk intercourse with" I'm sorry, where does it say he knew them? clearly they are a stranger that he met at a bar most likely.
Yanitheswimmer 0
YDI for being stupid enough not wear a condom...
elgordito_fml 0
dumbass, i bet he was concieved like that?!
Mx_Rider 6
ydi for being drunk ydi for having drunk sex ydi for mistaking birth control pills for makeup case,dumbass ydi for not using a condom ydi for not pulling out,wich you should have in your case. ydi for just being so god dam stupid op congrats your sperm is inside her and fertalizing.... ohh the joyyy! :D
Vanita 1
+YDI for thinking that pulling it out is safe. +YDI for only using condoms to prevent pregnancy, not illness. +YDI for not asking her. +YDI for not thinking about the option of the morning after pill.
iheartjustinsane 0
+ YDI for sleeping with some girl that you just met.
iSpaceShuttle 0
+ Y.D.FKING.I Cause Your Just Dumb Like That. i Hope its a boy So u Cant **** that **** Too.. jack ass
OhMinty 5
Your stupid
stupiddumbblonde 0
oh my! 17 nailed it!!!!!!! :D
waterynuggets 0
Monumental fail. Next time, righteously buy some lambskin condoms and do the gene pool a favor.
spank_u_veryhard 0
dumbass... ydi... condoms do more than just stop pregnancies. pretty soon you'll be pissing fire everyone has aids! aids aids aids aids!
kernelkat 16
A simple Are you on birth control? would have solved this. Course you're probably the type that didn't have a condom w you anyway.