Jonathan
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
Where am I?
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend, but it wasn’t actually her. What happened last night? FML
123roomielover
United States
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
VacationTSA
United States
Today, I woke up in a girl's bed, who I've had a crush on for two years. She was sleeping on the floor with someone else. FML
ohfantastic
United States
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
SoVeryMonday
Canada
Today, we rearranged the bedroom and my boyfriend and I switched sides of the bed. When the alarm went off, he got confused as to which side the clock was on. Instead of hitting the snooze button like he normally does, he hit me in the face. FML
scatter00x
United States
Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML
SmokedSalmon
United States
How romantic
Today, I woke up next to a slumbering girl I had just met the night before. She had all the covers on top of her and I was cold. Not only was I cold, but the sheets were really cold. So I got up and realized she'd peed a drunken night's worth of beer all over my sheets. FML
Anonymous
Drunk hookup ends with a… bang
Today, I woke myself up by farting in my sleep, only to realize that the guy I'd brought home from the bar was still next to me. He was awake. FML
hoody
United States
Today, I got to sleep in the same bed as the love of my life...and her new boyfriend. FML
-_-
Lahaina, United States
Today, I woke up to a warm bed, the morning sunlight bathing my face, and my boyfriend sneaking my credit card out of my purse. FML
Top comments
kirstyfaerie 0
only half naked? you're not very ambitious.
birchofacookie 0
That's weird. Today, I was having sex on a boat with a hot brunette. Then, I woke up. And Samus slapped me.
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Comments (128)
lakeylove 0
LMFAO AT #7!!!!!!!!! Im only a kid and i woke up kissing my pillow.......Im not even a teen. screamz well im a girl so i dont dream of other girls no offence ppl but i think gay marriage should be band. Its not like got created Adam & Steve (gay version of Adam & Eve) but why do guys luuuuuv brunnettes? well my skin is a nice caramely color do guys digg that? just asking.....
Crimso 0
hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
MCofpwnage 0
**** off. Not everybody's Christian, you dumb bitch. And that's the ******* most damned stupid argument against gays I've ever heard. They were went to be the father and mother of man, so of course they couldn't be gay....dumb ****.
Gavik 0
Swallow my ****.
bridgette5866 0
Or choke on it.
Epic222662 0
You fail you predujiced christian bitch. I love how your such a ******* retard that you actually believe god is real. Fail btw xD. what,u believe in santa too? lol. Anyways, you have no room to talk since ur the weird ass nerd fugly girl who kisses her pillow. rofl. Jump off a plane,maybe u'll float to heaven.
TLUL 0
And I think stupid bitches like you should be banned. Your prejudices disgust me. If you say that God does not agree with gays and lesbians, then we are forced to conclude that God made a mistake in his alleged creation of humanity, because some people are gay. Yet your religion teaches you that God does not make mistakes. Contradiction.
MrPhucked 0
wow, cut her a break, shes only a kid
Serec 0
"And I'm not even a teen." So you're 12 damn years old? ****. Why do ignorant ***** like you even get to sign up on sites like this? this was a pathetic argument, oh and you say "GOD" like if everyone believed him and the bible! I hate kids like this ******, this comment hasn't been moderated yet for prejudice speaking? what the ****.
Wandalf 0
@ #13 Dear lakeylove, please stop raping me. Signed, the English language. PS : and Tolerance asked if you two have ever been introduced.
hahawaitwhat941 0
Haha I love you.
TLUL 0
You are awesome.
TLUL 0
You are awesome.
cindayy77 0
what did #13 say?
dyble95 0
Lol...
inerdablanket 4
#13; How old are you? 8?
kellbell09 0
wow that sucks for you. oh and number 13, WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM??????? Gawd your immature.
uffiewuffie 0
what did # 13 say?! HOLY SNOUT SOMEBODY TELL ME
AnotherStranger2 0
#13. Die in a fire. PLEASE. Ditto on #14. OP: HAHAHAHAHAHA...... Oh, man- that sucks. I've done similar before. XD I feel for ya, bud.
Rewiinded 0
Feel sorry for you man, feeling you
A_Panda 0
This FML made me LOL.
jlplayb 0
dam bro really....f ur life lol
fACE007 0
who the **** cares about your desperate fantasies?
bigraws23 0
wa,wa,waaaa, I have a tiny dick :'( the world has bigger things to worrie about, like finding a cure for my tiny dick