Today, I woke up in hospital after a night of heavy drinking. My friends told me I was beat up by the doorman. After going to the club to watch the security footage, it was revealed I actually fell on my face trying to fight, and caused more damage to myself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my friends showed me a video of me blind drunk last night, getting into a fight with my front door. The door won, unlike my face. FML
Today, I was walking in the street, and the next thing I know, I'm waking up in a hospital. According to witnesses, a guy came up and hit me over the head with a baseball bat. Apparently that's a thing that happens now. But it's okay, he had an excuse: he said he was drunk. FML
Today, at a house party someone smashed and spilled their drink. In my own drunken state, I decided to get the mop as someone might fall. I then fell over it and ended up with glass in my side. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I saw an old homeless man who had just fallen down due to his drinking. Everyone laughed at him, but I felt bad, so I went to help him up. My reward? A quick punch in the face, landing me in the hospital. FML
Today, while we were in a hotel, I got so drunk I apparently couldn't find my room, and passed out in the corridor. I woke up to see hotel staff calling security. FML
Today, after a night of drinking, I woke up in the hospital with a broken coccyx. Apparently, my drunk self came to the glorious conclusion that it would be a good idea to cannonball into a puddle while screaming "POOLPARTYYYY!" at the top of my lungs. FML
Today, I drunkenly staggered home and crashed on the couch. When I woke up I realized it wasn't my house. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
gogo44444 28
You should get a restraining order on yourself
ExtremeEncounter 32
More like beat up by the doormat.
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Comments (41)
FalloutScrolls 25
I got no sympathy for someone who chose to drink him/herself completely shitfaced drunk. YDI
soulreaper12296 28
Maybe it's time to drink less when you go out with friends.
v4valour 15
How is this NOT a YDI
Mathalamus 25
thats what you get for drinking.
Sandman2015 12
Time to maybe cut back a bit? Have a few butnifnyou can't remember gravity kicking your ass then you've been partying a little too hard.
sparkledoge 29
At least your friends were trying to make you feel better about yourself ?
MitiMiki 16
Ah, the joys of alcohol. If you are getting yourself into bad situations as a result of your drinking, or worse, doing stupid things that you don't remember, it may be time to reassess your relationship with alcohol.
ThrottleJockey 36
You've never truly lived until you've gone out drinking and woken up naked in the emergency room.
rag97 6
Well, if you could barely stand, a fight would have done you no good either
BrindonS 10
At least you've got some good friends!