Today, I woke up from the worst nightmare I've ever had. After tearfully explaining to my boyfriend, in detail, how bad this dream was, he told me to "put on my big girl panties" and make him breakfast. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up following one of the worst nightmares of my life. I was sweating, clutching the sheets, and feeling sick to the stomach. I'd been dreaming of my wedding that's taking place next week. FML
Today, I woke up suddenly with giant bugs biting my legs. I screamed, ripped the blanket off the bed and bolted to the bathroom to recover. Turns out it was all a dream, and the person who needed to recover most was my shell-shocked boyfriend who had been sleeping soundly beside me. Sorry, babe. FML
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarrhea in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping body. He rolled over to whisper, "I heard everything." FML
Today, I woke up early and made my boyfriend french toast. When he woke up, he yelled at me because it was his dish day and I was creating more dishes for him to do. He made me do the dishes. FML
Today, my fiancé had a nightmare and sat bolt upright in bed, claimed he had a nightmare where we were married, then his head hit the pillow and he was asleep again. That was his nightmare. Us being married. FML
Today, I dreamt my fiancé was rolling frozen potatoes onto my bed to wake me up. In reality I woke up screaming to intense cramps in my legs which almost reduced me to tears. I could barely walk for two hours. FML
Today, my boyfriend said he was going to give me breakfast in bed before he left. He walked over, threw some granola bars on the bed next to me and left. FML
Today, I woke up to my boyfriend making breakfast. I thought he was making it for me, so I sat at the table. When he walked over with his plate, he said, "Oh, I didn't know you were here!" I'd slept in the same bed with him last night. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, my boyfriend had a nightmare, talking in his sleep about not hurting himself anymore or "auntie Nat Nat" will put him "back in the home with the mean doctors and the sicky medicine." WHAT THE FUCK? FML
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Top comments
nightngale 0
Isn't it ironic how he tells YOU to grow up, yet he wants someone to go cook him breakfast like he's a little kid who needs his mommy to do things for him. If anyone needs to grow up, it's your immature, insensitive 5 year old boyfriend.
abandonship 3
tell him to make his own damn breakfast!
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Comments (197)
Antonio718 0
Wow, tell him to go to hell and dump him
LookinLikeDrake 0
you shouldn't have been sleeping anywhere other than the kitchen so ydi
I_lost_the_game 25
166- stereotypical asshole
abandonship 3
tell him to make his own damn breakfast!
f_alltheirlives 3
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I love these macho men, wont let the women break up with them or walk around without his scent! Mad men has come to life! *sips whiskey*
russianredgirl 0
insecure?
gigi37 0
No, s/he is referring (I believe) to all the other recent FML's that have been posted about a boyfriend jokingly peeing on his girlfriend, marking his territory and a girl that tried to break up with her boyfriend and he said no. But of course there are FML's about girls being just as ridiculous. OP sucks about the nightmare, good thing it was only that and not real.
ashole1990 10
what'd you make him? :]
FarSide 23
LMAO
gizmo_987 0
LOL, her boyfriend's my hero!!!
mylifesucks07 2
I lol'd. So what did you make him for breakfast?
Ferretface 13
A sandwich.
LeggoMyBrago 0
What a dick! I hope you didn't actually make him breakfast...
darkmis1 18
N/o, but he's an ass!
tehukiso 0
The breakfast comment might have been rude, but the rest of it was right. It was a dream. Recognize it as a dream. Grow up.
lacuna_coil 1
Yeah because you've NEVER had a bad dream before, right? I hardly have night mares, but when I do, they're realistic like about me watching my friends being murdered by muggers right before my eyes. Just because it's a dream doesn't mean that it can't be realistic. It's not like she dreamt she was a princess and her favorite dragon flew away. YOU should grow up.
movingtarget_fml 4
hey 166 put on your big girl pants and make me some damn breakfast
movingtarget_fml 4
I mean 112
rc024 0
Wow i was having a shitty morning and i read this and my whole day looks better!! Hahahaha 'go put on some big girl panties' hahahaha
tipsy337 0
Well go cook dem eggs bitch
tpike1296 11
LOL!!! but seriously...unneded