Today, I can now identify which of my four roommates is using the washroom, based on their grunts. I just love having a bedroom beside the bathroom. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realised I can tell which family member has just left the bathroom from the smell alone. FML
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, I realized that having the apartment bathroom next to my bedroom space isn't so great and convenient when it's occupied by my evil roommate, Fartzilla. I hear every constipated grunt, despite having music turned up. Worse, it's like living next to a poop-pourri factory. Nose bleach, anyone? FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, after much delay, work was finally completed on my parents' new ensuite bathroom. It shares a wall with my bedroom. I was relieved, until I realised the endless crashing and drilling sounds have now been replaced with the sounds of my parents' bladder and bowel movements. FML
Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML
Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, all of my roommates were home. I really had to poop all day but the bathroom was being hogged. Once I finally got the chance to go, I guess the toilet didn't flush all the way and I didn't notice. The other roommates loudly asked each other who it was, and they all started loudly taking about me. FML
Today, I finally determined the source of the horrible smell that periodically invades my apartment: there's nothing wrong with the plumbing as I previously thought, I can just smell my neighbors pooping in their bathroom on the other side of the wall. FML
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Top comments
Emmereen 29
Of all the noises I've heard coming from bathrooms, I think I prefer to hear only grunts.
RichardPencil 32
Soon, you'll be able to tell the level of fiber in each of their diets. Maybe you ought to invest in some earplugs.
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Comments (10)
Emmereen 29
Of all the noises I've heard coming from bathrooms, I think I prefer to hear only grunts.
RichardPencil 32
Soon, you'll be able to tell the level of fiber in each of their diets. Maybe you ought to invest in some earplugs.
CantTouchThat 29
At least you'll always know when it's empty!! And if the walls are that thin, they're probably saying the same about you.
Druu 53
Speakers to the wall. Ride of the Valkyries. Time the plops.
Regulate 21
I feel your pain OP.
Vampirequeen346 8
You're not alone, my bedroom is also right beside the bathroom.. ?
Manual_Manoosy 21
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Cool story, bro
species4872 20
One wonders what they hear when you're in there.
Vkfan 28
I feel you, op; I live in a family composed by 6 people, and my bed is directly against the wall leading to the bathroom. 2 advices: always keep something in your ears, be it earplugs or headphones, and just be patient, you'll get used to it, eventually
neallo 5
I feel your pain, op. My first share house out of home was with two girls. The petite brunette was was the noisiest pee-er. My bedroom was right next to the toilet. I switched my bed around, and thought about her as an alarm clock: moment I heard her door open, I was up! Hang in there!