Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was washing my boyfriend's fishbowl, the fish did a Nemo and made an unholy leap down the drain. My immediate impulse was to flip the switch. Our kitchen now smells like mutilated fish and my boyfriend won't speak to me. FML
Today, I was at a pet store cuddling an apparently overaggressive chinchilla when it decided to bite me and run out of my hands. It is now nowhere to be found and I have to pay for it. FML
Today, my dog chewed through his leash, so I had to take him inside to prevent him from running off. I went to bed. I woke up to torn-up blinds, half-ate sandals, and a very, very anxious cat due to my dog running after her and trying to sniff her butt. FML
Today, I woke up to hear dripping water in the kitchen. Thinking it was someone getting a glass of water or something, I came out to find that it was just a mouse drowning in my dog's water bowl. FML
Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom and I noticed the balcony door was open. As I went to go close it, I swear I saw my cat wondering outside and I panicked. Long story short, I locked myself out searching for the cat and the next thing I knew, he was meowing at me from the balcony a few feet above me. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were house sitting. We were a little on edge because we'd heard noises. We were starting to get intimate, and suddenly the house alarm started going off. We locked ourselves in the room, called the police, and they told us that we were the ones who'd set it off. FML
Today, I woke up to a flooded apartment. Apparently, the upstairs neighbor's bathtub had overflowed and water was pouring through my ceiling. My landlord said he couldn't do anything until the water stopped, so I spent the morning frantically trying to mop up the water while feeling completely helpless. FML
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Top comments
nipas13titans 0
That is ******* crazy! Best of luck on that one... those damn chinchillas are cute, but lurking deep beneath their masks of adorableness lies a malicious monster, waiting to escape...
spankyness 0
I hate those things... I stayed over at this girls dorm and she had one and of course it got out and every hour when I was about to fall asleep itd bite me and run away
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Comments (119)
spankyness 0
I hate those things... I stayed over at this girls dorm and she had one and of course it got out and every hour when I was about to fall asleep itd bite me and run away
Pg11 0
this is funnier than the fml lol
neonpanda44 0
agreed!
corocoro 30
He must've really hated you because they're not even aggressive animals.
rokin 17
M
March_2_1836 0
Hahahahaha mine chewed through the cord on my stereo and almost electrocuted hinself. He knows better now.
skeez_fml 0
lol chinchillas are dumb(even though super cute) one of my friend's had one and it chewed threw an electrical cord and burned off all its whiskers. another friend of mine had one who decided to chew on its water bottle and choked and died.
greenangel_fml 0
We had a chinchilla and recently gave it to a friend. She chewed on everything in my brother's room and if we ever want to sell the house we have to completely redo his room.
riffraff_fml 0
Dear diary, Chinchilla sure are nocturnal.
foREVerOrNever 9
I love magical Trevor!!!!!
Vonnick 0
Wait, what? That's one evil mother trucker. o_O
Vogelfanger 0
I would love to see the FML post for your downstairs neighbors.
shady_angel 0
aww, i have 2 chinchillas, and even though they are so cute they do eat anything n everything, and are very clever, once they have decided somthing thats it they do it haha. although i will say, they are so good with kids, n they dont really bite, just nibble. but i understand what a pain they can be, mine ate through the dvd cable... i wasnt happy lol
Sean123 0
yo #2 is on drugs so dont listen to him or her
Warlock_fml 0
How are they cute? They look like rats.