Today, I woke up at 2am and went to use the toilet. I sat there doing my business, when I heard a voice whisper my name from behind me. I live alone and the toilet is right up against the wall. I screamed and ran back to my room, then went without sleep for the rest of the night. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I still have my ridiculous fear of being heard on the toilet, and I can't go if people are around. I'd just sat down on the toilet when three of my housemates started chatting immediately outside the door. I had to sit silently until they were gone. For half an hour. FML
Today, I woke up at night to go to the toilet. My Dad was doing his thing with the toilet door wide open. I saw, screamed at the top of my lungs and peed my pants in horror. Now my throat hurts and I'm too embarrassed to look at him. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I was woken up by the sound of someone in my room. I started freaking out, thinking someone had broken in, so I kicked them, only to realise it was my boyfriend coming back from the toilet. I'd forgotten he was staying over. FML
Today, I went to a dinner party. I had a bad stomach, so I made a dash to the bathroom and forgot to lock the door. While I was in, I heard some voices outside. In a panic, my reflex was to get up and lock the door. I did so, while simultaneously shitting all over myself. FML
Today, thinking I was alone in a public bathroom, I started singing the words to my favorite song. A minute later that I heard a toilet flush, so I just sat there petrified. The other person sarcastically picked up the singing from where I left off. FML
Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper and pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, and ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML
Today, I walked into my near pitch-black bathroom and saw a person staring back at me. I woke my whole family up with my screams. The person was my reflection. FML
Today, after watching Insidious, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to scare me while I was on the toilet. I was in mid-piss when he jumped out at me, and I ran screaming and peeing down the hall. FML
Today, I knocked on the door of the bathroom to make sure nobody was in there before I walked in. Then I remembered I live alone. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Peeep 17
The chamber of secrets has opened!
ZelmaSlayer 30
Paranormal Activity: The FML dimension.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (142)
BoxFullOfLazy 25
I've lived in places that I've suspected were haunted. Seeing things, hearing random sounds and voices, feeling the presence of something else in a room with me. I just accept it. If I'm feeling creeped out then I tell the ghost to go away, because it's my house now, and to go bother the neighbor or something for a while. It's like being a paranormal Odd Couple.
Myo_fml 20
Lol, same attitude as one of my co-workers. where I work is supposedly haunted and if something gets weird, he'll be like" okay, that's enough now. it's time to stop."
BoxFullOfLazy 25
Right on. I refuse to be afraid of something like that, especially in my own home. It's like, ok ghost, you have my attention. Now either murder me in my sleep or do something productive. I don't have time to talk to thin air right now.
mooman36 15
It's just your mind playing tricks. Countless times I have thought someone is saying something outside or I thought I heard the dog barking before realising it is in fact it is a bird chirping or something else totally innocent. When you're tired and barely awake your mind just jumps to these conclusions. Put it this way, ever felt your phone vibrate when it didn't?
leogachi 15
@24 That's called phantom vibration and it's a sign of being addicted to your phone. That's not really the same as hearing someone calling your name at 2am.
Duckay 11
Phantom vibration is caused by misinterpreting other stimuli as something familiar (in this case, your phone). It is in fact exactly the same as thinking you've heard someone say your name.
Dominus101 20
Now Now Now , No more scary movies before bed
helloimdinh 5
:)
ColonelCusswords 24
Sorry hot stuff, i got a lil impatient
maddie_xo 21
Nope. Nope. Nope.
nuka_cola 15
Wake Dreams.
amberdea404 28
Ghosts like to watch you poop lol
writergirl1029 17
You most likely heard another noise and since you were half-asleep, your brain jumped to the closest familiar thing: your name. I scare myself embarrassingly often when I'm up too late and I see shadows out of the corner of my eye.
joshi42 16
Is your name Steven, by any chance?