Today, I woke up after a night of partying and went to the bathroom. That’s when I realized that after passing out with my shoes on last night, my friends decided use a black sharpie and play “connect the dots” with my acne. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up after a long night of partying. When I went to wash off my face, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. My missing tooth was almost enough to make me overlook my black eye. FML
Today, I woke up to see my four year-old brother with a sharpie, trying to play “Connect the Dots” with my acne. FML
Today, I woke up with my face covered in blood. Turns out that yesterday at my colleague's birthday party, I got so drunk that I started yelling "Nappy time!" before falling out of my hammock and face-first onto the concrete ground. FML
Today, I woke up with a massive hangover after passing out at a wild party the night before. Apparently my friends couldn't find a marker, because I woke up with dozens of dicks drawn on my body and face in henna. I have a job interview today. FML
Today, I was at a sleepover for a friend's birthday. It was great, but after sleeping on their pull out couch, I woke up with six pimples on my face and a rash on my back. FML
Today, I woke up with my face sharpied. I live alone. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke to find a pool of my own blood all over my pillow. Frantic to find the source of the blood, I rushed into the bathroom and tripped over my too-long pajama pants. Crashing to the floor face first, I broke my nose. Turns out I had just bitten my lip in the middle of the night. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the way to a pool party and woke up covered in sharpie swastikas and dicks. FML
Today, I came home from a crazy costume party and took a hot shower. When I opened my eyes and saw the water running from my head was bloody, I freaked out and called my friend for help. She had to remind me that for the party, I'd coloured my hair red with washable hair dye. FML
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Top comments
poopy910 8
what does your shoes have anything to do with it lol and that sucks majorly lol
TheBrianWing 0
Obviously you don't have any asshole friends. When you pass out at a party with your shoes on, it indicates that you were unintentional about losing consciousness and you get messed with. If you are found with shoes off, it indicates you just got bored and went to sleep and need to be left alone.
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Comments (187)
slaosvhea 0
haha! im sorry, but that is pretty funny. maybe you should check your back too...just to make sure.
purdypengwin 0
You know the rules... If you pass out with your shoes on you're fair game.
Crash92 0
As said in Asher Roth's "I Love College": Dont pass out with your shoes on.
ricin_poisoning 0
The shoes rule IS NOT a reference to Asher Roth. That rule was around long before he was. And whoever said that they deserved it cause the OP and that "basic hygiene isn't hard" is an asshole. I'm ******* 24, still have acne and wash my face twice a day. Sometimes, there's not a lot you can do about it.
ohknownotnow 0
have people never heard of asher roth? dont pass out with your shoes on. it made me laugh to see that you threw that in there :]
greatnt249 0
"The shoes remark is an 'I love college' reference noobs" No, it isn't; the "don't pass out with your shoes on" rules extends way before that song was ever made. To everyone who doesn't get what shoes have to do with it, if you pass out drunk with your shoes on, you're fair game to get shamed. The principle is if you're idiotic enough to get so drunk that you can't do something simple enough like take your shoes off before crashing in bed, then you deserve to be shamed for your drunkenness. EDIT: What #88 said.
andbreathe 0
#89 said it all. and uh gross.
Phallus_fml 0
What an awkward way of telling a story...
two2 0
for anyone who asked about the shoes...the rules about drinking are that if you drink so much that you pass out with your shoes on, the people who are at the party have full right to do whatever it is they want to you
onigiriqueen 0
#65: I didn't know the rule, even though I'm old enough to drink, but that's because partying all the time and drinking until you're projectile vomiting across the room has absolutely no appeal to me. Not everybody grew up a party animal, sorry.