Today, I woke up after a night of drinking to find a very gorgeous girl in my bed. Her only words to me were "did anything happen?" When I replied yes she began to cry. Nice to know I was someone's rock bottom. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up from a night of heavy drinking to find my girlfriend dumped me. Apparently I drunk-called her last night and told her that someone as beautiful as her could be with someone way better than me. She agreed. FML
Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML
Today, I was woken up by my drunk girlfriend calling me and saying how much she loves me. She then stopped to tell the guy she was in bed with to be quiet because I might hear him. FML
Today, after a long night of drinking and partying, I woke up in my bed next to a beast of a woman. At least I know I made it home safely. FML
Today, I was cuddling in bed with my girlfriend after a night of heavy drinking. She rolled towards me, looked me in the eyes and sweetly said, "I love you". Her morning breath was so bad that I had to jump up and rush to the bathroom to vomit, leaving a trail along the way. FML
Today, a girl I have been wanting for years told me she was drunk and needed me to take her home. On the way home she was very frisky and flirty, and I kept telling her to wait till we got to her place. When we finally arrived, she passed out on me and I was stuck there watching her sleep. FML
Today, I was sleeping in my room when I awoke to an unfamiliar female voice in my apartment, followed by a thud. I walked out to find a drunk girl I've never met collapsed in my doorway. After puking all over the place, she had me call her father, who picked her up 10 minutes later. FML
Today, it's 2:23 in the morning, and my drunken girlfriend has just rung me up from a party where she's the only girl there. She seems to be having a great time. FML
Today, I woke up in a daze after a long night drinking. I felt a subtle nudge on my shoulder. I was at my ex-girlfriend's house, passed out on top of her, with no pants on. Her dad was, in so many words, informing me that I had to leave immediately. FML
Today, after a month of sobriety, I woke up in my ex-girlfriend's house with absolutely no recollection as to how I got there. FML
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Top comments
polico_wolf 0
she probably has a boyfriend and is crying that she accidently cheated on him or maybe she's a virgin and she didnt want to lost her viginaty to a complete stranger of maybe she didnt want to have sex with a complete stranger it has nothing to do with you.
LemonadePink 0
Dude, that's just the way most girls are. Guys think it's awesome to hook up with random hot girls. Girls...actually give a **** about sleeping with random guys, well girls that aren't ****** care anyway. She just ****** up, drank too much and had a random hook up. It has nothing to do with YOU, just herself. Get over yourself.
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Comments (79)
BigK_Diet_Cola 1
Shoulda replied with, "I don't remember."
scateice 0
Your a typical *****. Get her tested. Get the **** out the next time she bangs you, bitch.
bittersweets 2
or she is
perdix 31
Alcohol works for ugly guys, too! Even if you are not butt ugly, alcohol can help you score with women who are clearly out your league. Just get used to the downside of eventual sobriety. You might be what this girl needs to head to AA. Convince yourself that by taking advantage of her when she was shit-faced, you actually helped her turn around her life. Yeah, that's it!
Armin_fml 0
beer, letting ugly people have sex since 1862
vballerlover07 0
HAHA!! :) ^^^
TheDrifter 24
If you're going to wake up with someone ugly, be sure you're the ugly one.
KateeJo 0
at least you scored? [;
darkshadow_fml 0
You did her nonetheless If you think this is FML then no high-five for you
HahaYDI 0
It's not rape if you yell "Surprise!!".
Devikarawr 0
it doesnt mean your rock bottom just that she regrets sleeping with some random guy after a night of drinking!
hate_my_life29 0
who cares... you had sex with a beautiful woman that you never have to talk to again... thats the opposite of an fml
_DeadPixels_ 0
Hahaha... totally random, but this reminded me of some random poster I saw a while ago. It said something along the lines of; "Beer! Helping ugly people get laid since 1960!" It was in a semi-posh hotel too XD