Today, I woke to find my laptop and printer covered in what smells like pee. My boyfriend then confessed to me that he occasionally "sleep-pees". It's like sleepwalking, but where he urinates on random objects. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I discovered that my boyfriend, who has frequent night terrors, also sleepwalks. And apparently sleep-pisses on the bathroom rug. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my boyfriend full-on peeing into our tiny trash bin. The trash bin was basket material, so the pee was all over the floor. Once he'd finished, he went to bed, passed out and left me to clean it all up. FML
Today, I woke up to slight memory of my boyfriend leaving for work an hour earlier than originally planned due to "excessive sweat" in my bed. When I removed my sheets and took in a deep whiff, my olfactory receptors instantly knew that his so called "sweat" was actually his urine. FML
Today, my boyfriend admitted that he pees on the toilet seat just to piss me off. FML
Today, after I unfortunately woke up too early and too quietly at my new-ish boyfriend's place (we've been together for about a month), I walked into his bathroom to discover that he's one of those freaks who drinks his own piss every morning. FML
Today, I woke up to hear my boyfriend drunkenly crashing around in the living room, after peeing in an ashtray because he thought it was a urinal. FML
Today, I woke up to find myself drenched in piss after a long night of drinking. I immediately sprang into action, tossing my bedding in the washer and hopping into the shower. Running late for work, I threw on a nice dress and got into my car. Guess who also peed in the drivers seat? FML
Today, my boyfriend walked out of the bathroom, informed me he'd accidentally peed on the floor, and told me I could clean it up when I get a chance. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange wetness covering my body. My drunk roommate's urine. FML
Today, I am now sleeping on the floor because my friend got super drunk at a small party then peed herself in her sleep. I was sleeping beside her and my clothes smell like pee. FML
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Top comments
oj101 33
You better wake him up when he's sleep-pee next time. I'd be pissed off too. Urine your rights to do that.
TourettesGuyFTW 26
Seems like urine a bit of a pickle there.
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Comments (79)
upallnight11 19
OP, is your boyfriend a dog?
WolfieTheBadass 9
Time to get the good ol' adult diapers
Angio113 10
Well, he did warn you that he would pee on everything you love...
klovemachine 24
R Kelly?!? :-O
WeeniesMom 8
My dad did that to my mom's sock drawer...twice. XD
skyeyez9 25
Put your nice things into a locked room where your sleep pisser doesn't have access to it during his episodes. And only you have the key. Fyl indeed. Is there a medical cure for that? Maybe arrange for him to get a doctor appt Or kick his ass out and make him sleep at his own place till he gets this under control.
WolfieTheBadass 9
Urine a lot of trouble if your stuff turns out to be broken
noelasis94 18
Sleep pees sounds like a product that's ready to hit the market, late night infomercials, and instant millions.
ViviMage 40
He needs to see a doctor about that. He seems to have some kind of sleeping disorder.
tj4234 36
'He seems to have some kind of sleeping disorder.' thank you captain obvious.
StanSmith2013 26
Isn't that called being 'drunk and lazy'?
tj4234 36
no it's a genuine sleeping disorder. I think it's actually quite common. I don't do it myself but I know a few people that do.
Obey_StudBoii 23
This is where you go buy NAIR and put it in his shampoo. In reference to that let him find out for his damn self. KARMA it sucks but REVENGE is sweet.