Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I rushed home because my wife called to let me know she was feeling horny for the first time after getting over a bad flu. I walked in the door and surprise surprise, her sister had called round, wanting sympathy after her latest fuckbuddy dumped her. Romantic mood ruined. FML
Today, I got home from a business trip and found my wife in bed with my sister. She tried to claim they had just had a girls' night and fell asleep watching a movie, even though when I caught them, they were naked, wet and my wife’s head was buried in my sister's crotch. Movie night, sure. FML
Today, I abandoned my wife at a family party when her sister's husband cornered me and began telling me about his amputee fetish. FML
Today, my boyfriend’s soon to be ex-wife was supposed to go on a trip with her sister, so I came over for the weekend while she was gone. She came home saying she’s not going anymore because her sister cancelled. I had to wait inside a hot closet for 4 hours hungry as fuck until I could escape when she was showering. FML
Today, I saw my sister’s husband kissing another woman in a restaurant. I lost it, flipped their table, and got the cops called on all of us. Turns out they’re poly and she’s their third. Or she was going to be. My sister is now mad at me for “scaring her off”. My bad. FML
Today, I was talking to my boyfriend about some recent family drama my sister has been causing. He quickly lost interest and started jacking off right next to me. FML
Today, I walked in on my live-in sister masturbating my husband. He currently has injuries on both arms and they’re both in a cast. She told me he was “horny” and needed to “take some pressure off” so she wanted to “help” because she "was home at the time.” They both seriously see nothing wrong with this. FML
Today, my sister slept with my boyfriend while I was at work providing for the both of them as well as our child. I let her move in after our mother kicked her out. FML
Today, my girlfriend came over to visit me and my brother at our apartment. I left for just five minutes to fix us lunch. When I got back, she was making out with my brother. FML
Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML
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Top comments
LeonKennedy45 10
You should convince him to pay you gas money
rouh_fml 4
Did the sister say leave? She's only the only one who matters here, you didn't go for her husband, you went for her!
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Comments (56)
PaigeLeeAnn11 23
What a jerk.
theknozzle 14
Ouch. Something similar happened to me, except they just had me sit in the living room while they were in the bedroom. dead phone, no cable, no internet, it was the awkwardest half hour of my life.
Zebediabolical 45
Wow. How did they make it last half an hour? </joke>
titibug823 11
Remind him that you're there to see his WIFE, your SISTER... He may pay for the house, along with his wife, but right now, its only her opinion that matters. So unless she says leave, he can eff off.
alfred07 18
Was it just the husband or did your sister say it too?
bethybooditom 9
You should have called first.
SuperDanielNL 23
I think he did, I mean who takes a four hour drive to have the chance to stand in front of an empty house?
RedPillSucks 33
Unfortunately, plenty of people do that, though this FML doesn't specify either way.
baseballgirl25 6
U should of kick him as hard as u could in his junk.
Zebediabolical 45
*You *should have *kicked *you To hell with this. *You should have kicked him in his junk as hard as you could.
etishuman22 32
#24 THANK YOU. When people say "should of" it makes me want to punch them in the face. #21's comment is the reason why FML gives an editing grace period. Use it, people!
sxm 13
Wow what a ******* goof.
olpally 33
Ask for gas money when they're done. That's so disrespectful and rude.
sexyboi1985 27
Go outside and come back, I am sure people that hungry for sex don't last long.... Also on the Way back - give him the number 13 LAST LONG
MissEmma_fml 22
What?
sexyboi1985 27
You want the full number ?
MythsNLegends 10
Make him pay for you to go to a movie or something. She may be your sister, but it won't hurt to let them have their time first. As inconvenient as it may be life can sometimes get in the way of alone time with your significant other. Since you're family to him now he probably figured you'd understand.
Zebediabolical 45
I pretty much agree. If you're driving 4 hours to see someone you're very likely staying overnight or for the weekend. In either case case, half an hour or an hour spent getting a cup of coffee or at the movies isn't going to be that big a deal to you and I can pretty much guarantee that he will greatly appreciate your understanding.
omgthisisgay 10
That's stupid. OP lives 4 hours away. Chances are, they don't get to see each other that often. The sister and her husband live together and more than likely see each other every day. They have their whole lives to have sex.
Zebediabolical 45
It's four hours. That's not that far. Realistically they can get together pretty much any weekend they want to. I for one drive almost that far every other weekend in the winter to go skiing and I know people who do it every single weekend during the season. Four hours. Such a huge deal.
squideth 18
71, just because four hours isn't a big deal to you doesn't mean it isn't a big deal to everyone else. Way to empathize.