Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
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Top comments
imseksie 0
What the hell. Do me a favor and tell him that at least your breasts are bigger than his balls!
SkoomaKi 28
Your best possible response: "I'll take your shorts, it's not like they're covering anything".
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Comments (185)
SkoomaKi 28
Your best possible response: "I'll take your shorts, it's not like they're covering anything".
Roflsauruz 12
ZZZZZZIIINNNNGGGGggggggggg
reddudeover 2
His secret is out, he's an android... :o
NoisyNykkii 10
Like my profile picture!!
KenzieWilliams 0
That's a good one.! Haha ;)
Tempest559 12
He must be an ass man
LO388 7
He's an ass alright.
MigraineurOfLife 15
Kinda has to be, no?
j_cat187 20
An alaskan assman?
LadyGore 12
What he said makes him a total d-bag, personally if my boyfriend was that rude id be rethinking our relationship. On the bright side, having small boobs will prevent major backpain! So not such a bad thing and most women with small boobs have amazing asses!
Roflsauruz 12
Not in my case :( I've had tiny **** all my life and unfortunately, I have excruciating back pain all day, every day. (although I have multiple spinal deformities caused by gymnastics that nearly render me "disabled", but still D;)
Roflsauruz 12
Oh, but I do have a very nice bootayyy :D *jiggle*
Roflsauruz 12
Oh **** off with the thumbs down, guys. :/ srs.
PristinecrazyD 0
Hey whats ur number girl? Id like to get to know you
reddudeover 2
You're cute and I like your cat so pro-tips. Rule 1 of FML club is I just made it up. Rule 2 is accept the ruling of the counsel. Rule 3 is spell to the best of your ability and use proper grammar. Rule 4 is stay on topic and don't thread jack. Rule 5 be funny or helpful. There are more but rule 6 is try to keep your post short.
berichsoon 11
Well of course you going to get thumbed down, you describing yourself like you putting your body for sell, the wrong place to that.
Zedd_fml 8
Rule 1: you Don't talk about FML club. Rule 2: see Rule 1.
williamcarter93 13
you'd rethink your relationship over him saying you're flat chested. Well hell.
JadeWalker 14
Ummm i have big boobs and a pretty great ass and im skinny. So no not just small tit girls have nice asses or even asses at all.
kenzie20 6
Someone is a little full of herself. ^
ILoveFluttershy 3
Hehe I fail hard
Uramonkey 11
Then make an fml about it.
reddudeover 2
So if you could pass for a guy and he's dating you... Does that mean he could "pass" for gay?
Roflsauruz 12
Win.
baseballer4lifey 0
Wow.. That's a little on the rude side
Nooblah 15
Really?
Fruitmonster2 15
Here comes all the OMG Y U BE WITH THE DOUCHE? EX HIM NAO! Hell, why not sue the guy for being rude. Oh wait… you can't.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Well, what kind of boyfriend would make note of his girlfriend's small breasts and just insults her?
twisted_cherub 14
Right. Because not every guy on the planet makes an insensitive remark now and then. Make that every person. People tease each other all the time, especially people they're close to and think can take a joke. As long as she let him know it hurt her feelings and he apologized, it's not worth breaking up over.
Jumpingmal2 7
I like how he said you could pass for a guy, yet hes dating you. Is he implying he is gay :o
reddudeover 2
He's coming out, he wants the world to know got to let it show!
ArrickMorris 4
The size of your chest shouldn't matter! I'm sure you treat him like a saint and he obviously dosent. It's guys like that who give the rest of us a bad name
OttersIsAwesome 8
Take his shorts and say "The crotch part seems a little large, I thought they made it specially for someone like you."
LSS_fml 18
Wouldn't that be a compliment?
pokefan813 16
I think he's saying that his pants are too big for his crotch.
OttersIsAwesome 8
This is one of those things where it makes perfect sense to the author but nobody else understands.