Today, I went to the water park with my boyfriend. A swimsuit was required to go on the rides. My bikini straps somehow got torn off and I had nothing else with me. My boyfriend said, "Hell, just wear my spare shorts. You could pass as a guy with your chest". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my boyfriend bought a bikini he wanted me to wear in our hot tub. Unfortunately, I ran out of swimsuits for my daily swim at the public pool, so I took the new bikini. Now I know why he wanted to be alone when I wore it, as water turns it see-through and melts the stitching so it falls off. FML
Today, at the beach, my boyfriend picked me up and carried me over his shoulder. I felt my bikini top come undone in the process. I panicked and pulled down on his shorts. We were fined for indecent exposure. FML
Today, I went to the beach. While I was swimming, I noticed a few really hot guys passing. Trying to be sexy, I slowly got out of the water, showing off my body. I showed a bit more than I expected when I realized my bikini bottom had fallen off. FML
Today, at the public pool, my boyfriend dived from one side to the other. I jumped in to reward him underwater, kissing him everywhere and grabbing his crotch, until I noticed his shorts were different. I surfaced to see that my boyfriend was still far away. FML
Today, at a pool party, I had forgotten to bring a swim suit, so I went in in my bra and shorts. After everyone screaming and telling me to put my shirt back on, I asked, "Why? It's the same as a bikini." My best friend told me it was because no one wanted to see me topless. FML
Today, at the pool, I tried to impress the hot lifeguard by doing the perfect dive. Afterward, I realized my shorts were floating through the water. FML
Today, I dove into the water perfectly, and my bikini bottoms came off. I splashed around nervously. This guy must have thought I was drowning, and dove in to save me. He emerged from the water carrying a half naked girl. FML
Today, while at the waterpark, some guy came up to me and profusely thanked me for wearing a one-piece swimsuit. FML
Today, an ocean wave tore off my bikini bottoms. It took me a few seconds to notice after I stood up, by which time all of my friends, and quite a few other people, had seen my downstairs zone and laughed at me since I recently trimmed it into a love heart shape for my boyfriend. FML
Today, I went to the pool with my new white bathers. I felt really good about myself because everyone was staring at me until this hot guy came up to me and said "Dude, your bathers are see-through. You need to shave!" FML
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Top comments
imseksie 0
What the hell. Do me a favor and tell him that at least your breasts are bigger than his balls!
SkoomaKi 28
Your best possible response: "I'll take your shorts, it's not like they're covering anything".
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Comments (185)
StreetReaper 9
Regardless of the overt insult, OP needs to be happy with herself first and not base self-esteem on cup size. I am much older than the average guy on here and I can emphatically say that small breasts are every bit as sexy as larger ones. Plus, when she gets older, they will remain perkier longer. OP should tell her boyfriend to learn some social grace and be happy with what she has and what she has to offer him. If he is t happy with that arrangement or too immature to learn manners, ditch him.
the_true_batman 10
Wow, you need to calm down. I think it was a joke, not an insult. He wasn't saying that she isn't beautiful, or that there is anything wrong with small breasts, he just made a joke that her breasts were small enough to pass for a dude's chest. Not everything is said with malice, some things are just jokes.
KilljoyParade 4
118- "Jokes" like that can be taken the wrong way. They almost always are. If OP had taken it as nothing more than an innocent joke, this post wouldn't have been written. Obviously she took offense to it.
the_true_batman 10
I'm not entirely sure she did. She my have just thought "this would be a good FML" and so submitted it. A lot of FMLs are nothing to be upset over. Like that girl whose mom was lecturing her on being aware of her surroundings, and then she noticed something that her mom didn't. I can't believe that that actually upset her. I think the bigger problem with her situation is that she had no way to fix her bikini problem, not that her boyfriend made a joke about her breast size. Breasts can be beautiful in all sizes. This FML has actually put me in the mood for seeing some small breasts, but I love big breasts, and everything in between.
Vociferouslife 4
Next time he runs out of condoms, just bring him a cover from a ring pop.
ShutUpPlz_fml 0
Anything more than a handful is a waste
ICastillo 25
Or a mouthful haha
reddudeover 2
62 - Are we talking midget hands? Or NBA player hands?
wannabeafreebee 3
ASSHOLE. Break up with him!
Mauskau 36
Sounds like my brother's girlfriend
grooglius 0
Did anyone else think it was kind of weird to say "you need a swimsuit to go on the ride"? Or is there a whole type of water park I've never been to
j_cat187 20
So it's a weird nude adult park made up of tons of random sex with strangers?
andrewmemoirs 2
those are the guys that give us a bad name. drop the loser and find someone who appreciates you for who you are.
RedCrow 0
What if you actually agreed, and on that day, look all pitiful and call him master. I'd love to see the security guards reactions.
angelofsaturn 23
Trust me you aren't missing anything by having a small bust except a non asshole boyfriend but you can remedy that situation rather easily. By that I mean dump him.
RKD 23
What a douchious thing to say! IF he isn't your EX-boyfriend by now, you should see how likes going without for a week or two,,,,,,