Today, I went to the game with my boss and some people he does business with on his tab. I got so drunk that I blacked out, threw up all over the table, and passed out in the bathroom. I woke up alone with my body reeking of vomit, and no phone. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got a little too drunk at my best friend's birthday party and threw up in the pub bathroom. I wiped everything up, composed myself, and went back to the party table before promptly throwing up on myself in front of the whole pub. FML
Today, while at work, I started to feel sick to my stomach, hot, and dizzy. My co-worker told me to go home. On the way through the locker room to get my stuff, I experienced a dizzy spell so severe, I blacked out and pooped myself. No one in the building is going to let me forget this. FML
Today, I went to get drinks for the first time with a guy I'd been talking to. He drank 4 drinks in the span of 30 minutes, and fell asleep at the table. I went to the bathroom before getting the check, and I came back to find he'd thrown up all over our table. Needless to say, I left without saying a word to him and deleted his number. FML
Today, I was at my boss's house for a company BBQ. Earlier I had taken muscle relaxants to calm my lower back pain. After a few drinks it was clear the alcohol and medication did not mix. I woke up few hours later to find out I had stripped naked and jumped into the 4-foot cake before passing out. FML
Today, I woke up in my boss’s sofa. I was covered in vomit, my head was hurting too much, and the only thing I could remember from the party the day before was that I was holding hands with my boss. I thought the story ended there but turns out I bit him on the neck, not once, not twice, but thrice. FML
Today, after my work's Christmas party, everyone got so drunk that I had to help one of my only sober co-workers take everyone home and clean up vomit. FML
Today, I went to work completely hung over. I was at my desk for 5 minutes before security threw me out on my ass. Apparently, I’m hung over because I got fired yesterday and got blackout drunk, completely forgetting that I had been fired. FML
Today, I woke up after passing out at a very small house party. I'd set a three drink limit, but apparently nobody listened, because there were beer cans everywhere, half my stuff was on the floor, and someone had shat in my bathtub. I had to clean all of it up alone. FML
Today, I woke up after going to a rave with some friends. I got very nauseous and sat down behind a garbage bin outside to puke. I sat directly on fresh pee. About an hour later, I sat down on a toilet seat also covered in pee. I forgot to shower when I got home. FML
Today, I woke up in the shower at my coworker's house, with my clothes on and soaking wet. Apparently, the night before I drank too much and punched my best friend. The sad part is, I passed out on the couch, but somehow ended up in the shower, facing the wrong way. FML
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Top comments
zrhcrx 0
it's called learning your limit bud...do you still have a job?
McLaughlane 0
damn...YDI for not knowing when to stop. Especially around your boss.
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Comments (123)
itsgen 16
why the fuckk would you get drunk when your with ur boss thats just stupid!! you soooo deserved that onee
zarc 0
"Today, I invited an employee to the game with me and some business partners. Paid for on my tab. The employee then drank himself into a blackout and vomited all over the table, before passing out in the bathroom reeking of vomit. Now I have to repair the damaged relations between me and my business partners. FML." YDI. Count yourself lucky if you even had a job when you woke up.
stop_whining 0
I despise people like you.
bennylove 0
Idiot.
C_Wicked27 0
Way to be classy AND responsible. I mean I've been known to go on all night benders with my friends, but none of us ever get that out of control, and you crossed that blurry line into being a straight up alcoholic in front of the person who signs your checks... good show, and YDI.
life_sux1234 0
hahah. YDI
Ibeapirate 0
The question here is, how did you NOT deserve that one??
CasualMaggot 0
I agree that it is not the setting for representing your aristocratic self, but you really must be a tosser... BTW. I believe it was a "Today" story, since it is so badly explained .D PS: I write one-eyed smileys, and I'm drunk atm. Period (just about the smileys though... i will be revived in the morning.)
brrrx 0
Dumbass.
jet_fml 0
I moderated this one... and I said no. MASSIVE YDI.